Narrator: [narrating] The South Park Movie Theather, where most of blockbusters and flops are filmed, but tonight it's going to be different. For you see tonight is the big premire of it's latest film, "The Wiz of Oz," starring the South Park characters!
Intro: [Instrumental. The Paramount Pictures/Warner Bros. Pictures logo crossfades/fades into South Park's mountain range. The camera stops at the town sign as two birds carry the banner "Bigger, Longer & Uncut". The camera moves past the sign to the front of the Marsh residence. Stan exits his house and heads towards town. He scoops up some snow and tosses it in the air, then dances as it falls on him. As he passes by TELE'S, various episodes of Terrance and Phillip play on the televisions behind the window. Then he runs into a man carrying a box full of stuff, then moves on]
Stan: [relaxed] There's a bunch of birds in the sky, And some deers just went running by. Oh, the snow's pure and white on the earth, rich and brown! Just A- nother Sunday morning in my quiet mountain town. [brisk] The sun is shining and the grass is green Under the three feet of snow, I mean. This is the day when it's hard to wear a frown! All the happy people stop to say "hello,"
Townsman: Get out of my way!
Stan: Even though the temperature's low. It's a perfect Sunday morning in my quiet little mountain town.
[Stan crosses the street and reaches Tom's Rhinoplasty, where his mom, Sharon, works as the receptionist. He shows her a movie ad]
Sharon: Well, good morning, Stan!
Stan: Mom can I have eight dollars to see a movie?
Sharon: A movie?
Stan: Yeah. It's gonna be the best movie ever. It's a foreign film, from Canada.
Sharon: All right, here you go. But be back for supper!
Stan: Thanks, mom!
[He leaves and walks brightly down the street. She watches him until he reaches Kenny's house, then returns to work]
Sharon: Oh, what a picture-perfect child! Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild. He'd wear a smile while he wore a thorny crown. What an angel, with a heart so sweet and sure. And a mind so open and pure. Thank God we live in this quiet redneck mountain town!
[Kenny's house. Stan walk up and knocks]
Stan: Dude! Dude, wake up! [Kenny rises and gets dressed] Kenny, come on!
Kenny: [tightens his hood] (Coming!)
Stan: Kenny! The Terrance and Phillip movie is out. You wanna come?
Kenny: (Yeah, dude. Come on, let's go.) [they walk away...]
Mrs. McCormick: [appearing at the door] Where do you think you're going?
Kenny: (To the Terrance and Phillip movie.)
Mrs. McCormick: You can't! You have to go to church!
Kenny: (But Mom, I wanna see this movie!)
Mrs. McCormick: Well, fine. Go ahead and miss church. And then, when you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan!
Kenny: (...Okay!)
[Stan and Kenny walk away and step over a homeless man on the street. They pass the church they should have gone into for Sunday services]
Stan: You can see your breath hanging in the air. You see homeless people, but you just don't care. It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown!
Kenny: (Don't you know? It's like a perfect winter day And that I'm glad I can say)
Stan: That's right! It's Sunday morning [with church choir] in our quiet little white-bred redneck mountain town!
[Kyle plays with Ike outside the house]
Ike: Bah bah bababah!
Kyle: Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby.
Kyle: Kick the baby. [kicks Ike through the window, and Ike squeals with delight]
Sheila: Ike! You broke another window! That's a bad baby! Baaad baby!
[Stan and Kenny reach Kyle's house]
Stan: Kyle! We're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie! [shows Kyle the movie ad]
Kyle: Oh my God, dude! [begins to walk away with Stan and Kenny]
Sheila: Kyle, where are you going?!
Kyle: Uh... We're going ice-skating.
Sheila: Well, take your little brother out with you.
Kyle: Aw, ma. He's not even my real brother. He's adopted.
Sheila: Do as I say, Kyle!
Kyle: Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
[The boys leave, and Sheila goes back in and begins to sing. Near the end of her part she dances across the living room and ends with a high kick as Gerald reads the morning paper.]
Sheila: Look at those frail and fragile boys, It really gets me down. The world is such a rotten place, And city life's a complete disgrace! That's why I moved to this redneck meshuggeneh qui- et moun- tain town! [Ike flies through the other window] Ike! Bad baby! [he hops out and away]
Ike: Tay for a bah.
[Cartman watches TV and munches on Cheesy Poofs]
Announcer: This program is brought to you by Snacky S'mores, the creamy fun of s'mores in a delightful cookie crunch. [the doorbell rings]
Cartman: Mom, somebody's at the door!
Liane: Coming, hon. [passes by in front of him]
Cartman: Ey! I can't see the TV!
Tom Pusslicker: It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars, and the world is still glad to be rid of him.
Liane: Oh, look, Eric. It's your little friends. [the boys enter]
Ike: Cartman!
Cartman: What are you guys doing here?! [they show him the movie ad] Oh. Sweet, dude! Yes! Yes!
[All five boys now head for the theater]
The boys: [regal, quickening] Off to the movies we shall go, where we learn everything that we know, 'Cause the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say! And this movie's gonna make our lives complete, [slowing] 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet.
Cartman: Super sweet!
The boys: Thank God we live in a quiet little redneck podunk white-trash
Kenny: (Kick-ass!)
The boys: U... S... Aaaaa!
Stan: [now at the ticket booth] Can I have five tickets to Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire, please?
Clerk: No!
Kyle: What do you mean, "No?"
Clerk: Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America. You have to be accompanied by a parent or guardian.
Kyle: But why?
Clerk: Because this movie has naughty language! Next please. [three bigger kids move up in line and buy their tickets]
Stan: This...this can't be happening!
Kyle: We have to see this movie, dude!
Cartman: Aw, screw it. It probably isn't all that good anyway.
Kyle: Cartman, what are you talking about? You love Terrance and Phillip!
Cartman: Yeah, but the animation's all crappy. [the boys sadly begin walking away]
Stan: Wait, I've got an idea!
[The Bijou ticket booth. The boys are back, this time with the bum Stan and Kenny encountered earlier. He holds their money.]
Bum: Uh, hi. I want six tickets to Asses of Fire.
Clerk: This movie might not be appropriate for your little ones.
Bum: [leans down to speak to Stan] Hey, he says this movie isn't appropriate for you.
Stan: Look, Mr. Homeless Guy, If you don't wanna buy us tickets, and not get your ten bucks, and not go buy yourself a bottle of vodka, then be my guest!
Bum: Six tickets, please. [the clerk rings them up]
[The theater, inside. The boys sit in the front row. They have their treats, but Cartman is practically buried under his. The bum is not with them.]
Kyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman.
Cartman: Oh, let's see. [looks over his stash] Uh, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy.
Kyle: Like really need all that chocolate, fat boy!
Ike: Ba-ba-ba-ba.
Stan: Shh, the movie's starting!
[the opening tiles appeared]
Warner Bros. Pictures presents:
"THE WIZ OF OZ"
The boys: Hooray!
Narrator: Our story begins somewhere in the Mid-Coast of The United States, in the country state, of Kanas, and out on a barn. There on the barn lived a middle-aged couple and their sons. Gerald and Sheila Broflovski were their names, and what their jobs were in their town is that Sheila was not only a farmer, but was a famous mechanic back in his days. As for their sons and their baby brothers, their names are Stan, Kyle, Ike, Kenny and Cartman. They are the sons of Gerald (that's how they are related), who lived up in the mountains in Canada (the English parts that is).
[Kyle's house, night. "Happy Chanukah" The Broflovski family sings as Gerald lights the first candle on the Chanukah menorah]
The Broflovskis: Chanukah, Chanukah, sivivon, sov, sov
Ike: I gotta go tinkle.
Kyle: No Ike! Shh!
The Broflovskis: [while Ike was there on the fance where the horses are, staring up into the clear blue sky, while Kyle was out chasing the chickens (like he usally does).] Sov, sov, sov! Sov, sov, sov! Ma nayim vi-tov.
Sheila: Kyle! Come over here and stop from chasing those chickens!
Stan: Mom, why can't you just let him play for a while? Kyle doesn't actually harm the chickens.
Sheila: That's what what the neighbors say about their beagal and it tared up five of the chickens' necks, Stan. Now will you stop being lazy and stop your brother?!
[Stan sighed and got out his whistle, blow it, and Kyle instantley stop chancing the chickens and started to go up to Ike.]
Kyle: Hi there, Ike! Spending all your spare time chasing the chickens again, haven't ya?
Ike: Bah bah bababah!
Sheila: There's another thing a want you to do, I want you to go to town and get these items I've written on a small list. You think you can handle it?
Cartman: Mom, I've been to the town like a hundred times, I know where it is, and which stores I need to go to find the items on the list.
Sheila: Good, [then she pulls out some money from her pocket and give it to Kyle] Here's the money you need for the stuff to get in town, and here's some extra money to get yourself and Kenny something while you're up there. Oh, and you need your carrying bag, [she gave Kyle a big bag that looks like a messanger's mail bag.]
Ike: Thanks mom, Ready to go to town with me, boys?
The boys: Yeah-yeah-yeah
[The boys rushed up toward their bicycle, which was right on the side of the barn, and took off on it like a shot with Ike running by their side.]
Sheila: You better hurry up too, I heard that there is going to be a huge storm coming.
The boys: We will!
Kyle: Back in a few minutes, dad!
[Gerald got out from under a car he was working on and waved at his sons.]
Gerald: See you later, kiddo! We thank God for our blessings this Chanukah. Our little family is so loving, and perfect, and nothing will ever tear us apart. [the doorbell rings] I'll get it. [goes to answer the door. A Canadian couple stands at the entrance]
Man: Gerald Broflovski?
Gerald: Yes?
Man: My name is Harry Gints and this is my wife Elise. We're from Canada.
Gerald: Yes, I can tell.
Harry: My wife and I had a child a few years back, and, we weren't ready to have a child, so we put him up for adoption. [Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike come into view] We were told that you might be the-
Elise: Peter! [rushes in] Oh God, Harry! It's our son! [approaches and kneels. Ike hides behind Kyle] Peter, it's Mommy.
Sheila: Gerald, what the hell is going on?
Gerald: I I'm not sure.
[Moments later, both couples are at the dining room table]
Harry: It was a tough time for us. It was a tough time for all of Canada. The whole country was devastated by the cola wars. It just seemed we couldn't take care of a baby.
Elise: So we put him up for adoption. But as the years passed, I, I just felt an emptiness in my heart. [Kyle eavesdrops on the conversation, with Ike at his side] Oh it's so good to see him.
Sheila: Well we wish you all the best, Mr. and Mrs. Gints, but to be honest, I think it would be best for Ike if you didn't come around again.
Elise: I don't think you understand. We didn't come to visit Peter, we came to take him back.
Gerald: What?
Harry: We want to take Peter home, to Canada.
Sheila: Are you crazy?!
Gerald: Look, you gave Ike up. You can't just change your mind.
Harry: Changing your mind is a Canadian custom that we hold quite dear. And besides, the new Canadian Prime Minister has issued a decree that all adopted Canadians must be returned home.
Sheila: The new Canadian Prime Minister?
Gerald: Look, Ike is our son now!
Harry: He doesn't belong here. He belongs in Canada with his own kind.
Sheila: I think you'd better leave.
Harry: Please, don't make things any harder for Peter.
Gerald: Harder for Peter?! Now you two just blow in here and say you're gonna haul him back to Canada, and we're being hard on Peter?!
Harry: We're prepared to go to court! We had hoped it wouldn't come to that!
Gerald: Well you bet your ass it'll come to that!
[So off Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Ike, Harry and Elise went to go to town.]
Gerald: Good-bye, Ike. You... [wipes a tear from his eyes] be a good bye, huh? You... remember all the things we taught you. [kisses Ike on the head and steps back to console Sheila. Kyle steps forward.]
Kyle: Ike, you'll always be my little brother, okay?
Harry: Come on, Peter, we should get going.
Ike: [holds onto Kyle] No!
Elise: Peter, you must come with Mommy and Daddy.
Ike: No no no no no!
Harry: [whips out a chocolate bar] I have some chocolate.
Ike: Chocolate! [rushes for the candy, and Harry settles him inside the car]
Harry: We're going to take good care of him.
Kyle: You'd better! [Harry closes the car door and goes to his side, then settles in to drive. The car luches forward on square wheels. Kyle looks as Ike goes away. Ike looks back] Dad, can't we talk to this new Canadian Prime Minister? Iif he knew the situation, he might e-
Harry: Oh! Kyle, appealing to the Prime Minister of Canada would take... time and money we don't have.
[However, while Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Ike, Kenny, Harry and Elise were in town, most of the stores seem to be closing very quickly do to a really storm coming this way, but they was able to gather all of the things on Sheila's list of what they need to get.]
[The last stop in town Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Ike went to was their favorite comic book store, buy themselves the newest issue of their favorite comic book and TV Series, "South Park," just in time before the whole store closed. Luau's Toys, night. It's dressed for Christmas. Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny look inside the shop through the window]
Cartman: Dude, look at that. Sprinkle Time Make Your Own Marshmallow Factory. I'm definitely asking for that for Christmas.
Stan: Dude, I'm gonna tell my parents to get me that John Elway doll with the karate-chop action.
Kyle: Guys. [the other boys turn to face him] Guys, I need your help.
Stan: Sure dude.
Kyle: It's been a week since Ike's been gone, and every day my parents seem worse. I have to try to go to Canada and speak with the new Canadian Prime Minister, but I can't do it alone.
Cartman: We can't go to Canada, dumbass! It's Christmas!
Stan: Yeah, dude. What if we miss out on some great Christmas adventure?
Kyle: Please, you guys, you don't understand. [walks off some distance] My family is devastated. My mom just walks around the house like a zombie, and my dad can't stop crying.
Cartman: Well, I didn't wanna say anything, Kyle, but I think this is what your family gets for being Jewish at Christmastime.
Stan: Dude, Cartman. Cartman: I'm just saying, maybe Jesus is having a little revenge, that's all.
Kyle: [returns] I found the number for a really cheap airline to Canada. If we go as soon as possible, then-
Stan: Dude, we just can't up and go to Canada. Look, they're about to light the Christmas tree. Maybe you can get your brother back some other way. [he, Cartman and Kenny leave. Cartman stops and returns]
Cartman: Kyle, I just want you to know, if it were any other time of the year, I still wouldn't help you. [walks off in the direction of the other boys. Kyle walks off sadly in the other direction]
[Stan, Cartman, Kenny and Kyle got out of the comic book store, got on their bike, and started to paddle off back home with Ike by their side.]
Narrator: On their way down back home, Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike had noticed that the whole entire was all gray and full of clouds, and the wind had started to blow stronger and faster.
Kyle: Looks like it's going to be a really big storm coming, Ike. We better hurry up before it gets worse.
[So Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Ike and Cartman started to paddle therr bike faster as well as they started to run faster to get home on time before the storm got stronger.]
Narrator: An hour later, the storm was growing much more stonger then it was. Trees were bent down, the dust on the road was being blown across the town, roof pieces of houses were beginning to chip off, and wind was roaring very loudly. Kenny payed no attention to what was going on outside cause she was too busy reading his comic and listening to his songs on her MP3 Player in his room. He was singing the song, "Kansas" by Ashanti, while he was reading his comic book.
[Then Gerald and Sheila came in and started packing Kenny's things in boxes, including his new comic he didn't finish reading.]
Kenny: (Hey! I was reading that!)
Gerald: Sorry Kenny, but there's no time for goofing off, You better start packing your things up to take to the storm celler. A twister will becoming this way.
Kenny: (Dad, That's the problem living here in Kanas, and plus it's boring that there are no malls, buildings, or resteraunts that most people go to.)
Gerald: We're not Ammish you know, why can't we just move to some place else where we don't have to worry about disasters like this? Your grandpa gave me this place in honor of his will, and I made a promise to live in this house as long as I live, Well this place is old, krusty, and it smells like an attic.
Sheila: Have some repect there, young man, As long as you live on this roof, you'll still fallow our rules and you'll live here until you're all grown-up.
Kyle: I'm ten, mom! Not a seven year old! I'm old enough to take care of my self, and you should let me leave the nest and explore the world.
Sheila: You're still too young to be your own and it's a world out beyond where we live, And life so going to be more complicated then you think!
[Kyle didn't said another word as Sheila's words scrouged her.]
[Then the tornado siren started to blow out loud outside, and that was time for The Gales to get a move on and get to the storm seller.]
Gerald: Enough fighting, boys! We don't got much time!
Narrator: Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, Ike and Sheila started to grab the boxes and carry them into the storm celler.
[Much later, the storm was getting worser and worser. The wind and thunder were roaring louder then it was before, lighting was crashing down, and the torando was about a hundered miles away from the farm.]
Narrator: Gerald, Sheila, Ike, Kyle, Stan, Cartman and Kenny were gathering the last of the boxes quickly as they can and safely get to the storm celler together, following behind to go to the storm celler.
[The tornado was getting closer and closer to the farm, Gerald had to quickly pull Sheila, Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike in before it carries them away.]
[Sheila was able to make it in, and when it was Kyle's turn to get in, Sheila and Gerald had to pull him in, with Ike pushing him in.]
[Suddenly, a large bolt of light strucked so loud, it scared Ike to death and he rushed back into the house screaming.]
Kyle: Ike! Don't! Come back here!
Gerald: Forget about him, Kyle!
Cartman: Get in the celler!
Stan: No! I got go get Ike!
Sheila: Ike's just adopted! I'm sure he'll make it!
Kyle: He's no just adopted! He's my friend!
[The tornado was now about ten miles from the farm and it was getting even bigger. Gerald and Sheila didn't have time to keep the celler door open, so they quickly close it before the tornado could get any more closer.]
[City Wok, night. "Christmas Special: Chinese Food For The Holidays" Mr. Kim sits at one of his tables with nothing to do]
Mr. Kim: No business... Christmastime come anda nobody wanna eata Chinese food. Looks like I might as well close. [a phone rings. He perks up and runs to get it] Oh boy! Some business! [puts on his chef hat and grabs a notepad] Finally! [grabs the phone and waits for the order] Herro? Shitty Wok, take ur orda prease!
Kyle: Uh, I must have the wrong number. We were trying to reach City Airlines.
Mr. Kim: Oh, oh yes, just a moment prease. [flips a sign over so it now reads "City Airlines" and switches to a captain's hat] Herro, Shitty Airrines. Can I help you take ur orda prease?
Kyle: Uh, we need to go to Canada. As soon as possible.
Mr. Kim: Oooh, Canada. Okay, that's uh pretty far. Gonna cost ya a rot of money... hmlet's she. How many people?
Kyle: Five.
Mr. Kim: Okay. Five people, Canada, cost a rot of money, that uh gonna be about ah six thousand five hundred daura.
Kyle: How about fifty daura?
Mr. Kim: Fifty daura?! You flighn to Canada cost at reast three thousand daura!
Kyle: Fifty-five daura.
Mr. Kim: Hey! Stop wasting my time wa fifty-five daura! No way I take my plane to Canada for less than a thousand daura!
Kyle: Okay. Sixty daura.
Mr. Kim: Sixty-two daura.
Kyle: Okay.
Mr. Kim: Okay. Meet me Park County Airfield, yellow Cessna, tail number 432G.
Kyle: Got it. [hangs up]
Mr. Kim: [hangs up, then giggles] Hehehehe, never try to barter with a Chinese man.
[Park County Airfield, night. A plane comes in for a landing in the background as the boys approach the yellow Cessna]
Cartman: We have exactly fifty-two hours before Christmas. [this sets it at 8 p.m. December 22] That means we have to be back in twenty-eight hours to still give our patents twenty-four hours to buy us presents. Synchronize watches on my mark. Mark.
Mr. Kim: Herro, welcome Shitty Airrine. [Stan and Kyle move ahead. Kenny stays with Cartman]
Cartman: [shakes his head vigorously] Oh no, no no nono, I am NOT flying in that thing!
Kenny: (Me neither!)
Kyle: Why not?
Kenny: ('Cause, dude, I'll fuckin' die!)
Kyle: You're not gonna die, Kenny. Don't be stupid.
Cartman: You guys go get Ike. Kenny and I will stay here and watch the fort.
Stan: No, you're both coming. Do you care about Christmas or not?
Cartman: Of course I care about Christmas- Doh, Christ on a stick! [he and Kenny head for the plane]
[Cessna 432G, inside]
Cartman: Aw dude, it smells like Kung Pao chicken in here!
Mr. Kim: Okay, welcome aboard Shitty Airrines. This is your captain speaking. Rooking about a two hour fright. I'll be turning on the seatbelt sign now. If your seats have seatbelts, this is the time you will fasten them. Please sit back, relax, and enjoy your Shitty fright. [he turns off the intercom and takes flight after a small bump.]
Kyle: All right! We're going to Canada!
Cartman: Sweet.
[Cessna 432G, day. The flight has taken longer than two hours. The boys are sleeping in their seats - and so is Mr. Kim. The plane begins to hit turbulence and lose power]
Mr. Kim: Hey, turn off the right. ...Wha- oh! [a sudden noisy dip awakens the boys] Stan: What's going on??
Mr. Kim: Herro from the cockpit, this is your captain speaking. As you can see, it appears that we are goin' down. Now would be a good time to refrect on your rife, and pray to whatever deity you bereive in. Thank you for flying Shitty Airlines. We know you have a choice in airlines, and it looks like you made the wrong one. [quickly puts on a parachute and opens his door to drop away]
Kyle: Hey, where the hell are you going?? [Mr. Kim jumps out and away. A few seconds later he pulls the rip cord and the parachute comes out]
Narrator: Meanwhile, somewhere far away, in a magical land called "Munchkin Land," a tribe of idols all dressed in Luxury outfits, were being terrorised by an evil witch how wanted to kill them. The witch was also an idol with blue hair, a black hat and mask around her face, and was wearing a black cape, a pink vest with a collar, pink gloves, a pink skirt, and ruby flat shoes (Chihaya Kisaragi).
Chihaya: "Laughing" Come out my little darlings, You can't hide from forever. "Laughing"
[The idols were all hiding in bushes and behind trees, to make sure the witch doesn't find them.]
Azusa: Y-y-you'll be sorry for all of the trouble you caused us, your w-w-witchness.
Chihaya: Ha! I'm The Wicked Witch of The East! I take no sorries, especially from wothless Munchkins like you!
Iori: Why don't you take a break from your threats and leave us alone?
Chihaya: I don't take breaks either! When a plane falls on me from the sky, then I'll leave you alone.
Stan: Do something, Kyle! [Kyle grabs the controls and tries to steer the plane]
Kyle: I'm trying! [the plane bounces around in the air]
Cartman: Look out!
Kenny: (N-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!) [At the same moment, the tornado that carried the plane makes a steep descent and crashes onto the ground at an dangerousely fast pace. It flips over and crumples up, resting near a town. The boys were holding for dear life as the house was falling down, and the spot where the house was falling was the same spot where the Wicked Witch was standing.]
Chihaya: Uh oh, [the plane dropping down faster onto her.]
[The boys scramble out of the rubble and walk into the town and tried to make a quick escape, but then....... BOOM! The house landed right on her.]
[Now begins the "Wizard of Oz" sequence. The boys look around in wonder. A pair of legs is seen at a bench, but no head is shown]
Stan: You guys, I don't think we're in America anymore. [As they look in one direction, four Canadians pop up from some bushes and look at them. They drop back into the bushes before the boys turn back around]
Black Man: [slowly, a little creepily] Ahh! It's Chocolate Raaain. [another man walks up to the boys]
Tron Guy: Wait a minute, Tallest Munchkin! That plane just saved our lives!
Stan: It's Tron Guy. I saw him on YouToob.
Tron Guy: Yeah, sure. All the biggest Internet stars are here. You remember, of course, the Munchkin in white (who looks like Numa Numa). [to his right is the Numa Numa guy. He begins dancing to a song]
Numa Numa: Ma-iyahi Ma-iyahu Ma-iyaho, Ma-iyaha ha
Tron Guy: And the Star Wars kid. [the kid starts to dance around as in his video] And the Internet sensation Cute Sneezing Panda. [as in its video, the mother panda sneezes as soon as her child moves] And there's Dramatic Look Gopher. [the camera pans by a lonely girl and focuses on the gopher, who seems to notice the camera is on him. He quickly turns to face the camera and freezes]
Cartman: Wow, I've seen all you guys on the Internet!
[Then all of the Munchkins came out to see Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike.]
Chocolate Rain Guy: We're Munchkins, and this is Munchkin Land.
Chris Crocker: [jumps in out of nowhere] Leave Chocolate Rain Guy alone! Leave him alohohone! I'm serious!
Chocolate Rain Guy: I'm Tallest Munchkin, each of us Munchkins are named after our abilities or by our personalities.
Star Wars Kid: Oh, here he goes with the ego again. Who crowned you the top Internet star?!
Chocolate Rain Guy: I did. When I became bigger than all you bitches.
Tron Guy: Oh please, Laughing Baby had four times as many views as you! [the baby begins to laugh and laugh...]
Chocolate Rain Guy: You'd better shut your fuckin' mouth, Laughin' Baby!
Afro Ninja: Did you all forget about Afro Ninja? My Internet thing was bigger than anybody's. I made over a hundred million theoretical dollars.
Star Wars Kid: Well Sneezing Panda is theoretically worth billions!
Chocolate Rain Guy: You all wanna motherfuckin' die?! [whips out a Glock and cocks it]
Chris Crocker: NOOO! [grabs the gun and tries to wrestle it from Chocolate Rain Guy]
Narrator: At the same moment when the Munchkins were cheering for their new found freedom, a cloud of blue smoke started to appeared approaching Munchkin Land.
Cartman: Is that another witch coming here?
Chocolate Rain Guy: No, that's the witch!
Stan: Witch?
Chocolate Rain Guy: That's right, But don't worry about him, he's a nice guy.
[The Witches puff of smoke landed onto the ground, and it cleared up to reveal his identity.]
Walter: Modgasee it's You
Digifiend: Greetings, my fellow Munchkins
Narrator: Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike couldn't believe their eyes about the witch's appearences. Not only was the witch as well, but she had a pink hat, glasses, and a pink dress. Why, she looked just like....
The boys: Digifiend!?!?!
Digifiend: I'm Digifeind, The Witch of the North.
Stan: Sorry about that, But it's just you look like someone I knew back at home.
Digifiend: Yes little lamb I came here to thank you for setting the Munchkins free from the mercy of the Witch of the East. That old bat was really hard to rid of.
Kyle: Wait, If you run the North, and the witch here used to run the East, then who runs the West and South of Oz?
Digifiend: It's very simple there, uh...what's you're name?
Stan: Stan Marsh,
Cartman: Eric Cartman,
Kyle: Kyle Broflovski,
Kenny: (Kenny McCormick,)
Ike: and Ike Broflovski.
Digifiend: Thank you, You see, boys, since there are four directions on a compass, each warlock and witch gets to rule each point after graduating from Shiz High (that's where I went to High School and learned magic).
Kyle: The witches get to run the East, North and West points, while the warlocks run the South. Get it know?
Kenny: (I do know,)
Canadian Man: Eh-xcuse me? [a head pops up over the legs at the bench] Uh, is this an invasion?
Kyle: No.
Canadian Man: [a doctor, it seems] Oh thank heavens! It's okay. Everyone, it's not an invasion! [people come out of their hiding places. A man pops up out of a manhole mumbling something as the others mill around]
Kyle: Hey! We're in Canada!
Doctor: Well of course you are! And Canada Friends welcomes you!
Canadians: Welcome, friend, to Canada! Canada Friends loves you! We're just like any other country without the big tattoo!
Sailor: [walks up] We greet thee with pleasure, but one question, if we may?
Businessman: [walks up and joins him] What brings you folks to Canada? Why are you here today?
Kyle: Uh. My adopted brother got taken back here to Canada? So, we want to talk to the new Canadian Prime Minister about getting him back?
Canadians: His brother is our quest. The question is, is what? You must talk to the new Prime Minister if you think his brother's home's back there.
[Suddenely, an evil chuckle sound started to echo across Munchkin land, and a puff of red smoke appeared with a exploding noise. The Munchkins, Canadians and Softies all flee with fright to their hiding spots again, and Ike hid behind Kyle. The red smoked cleared up, and revealed who it was behind the smoke.]
Narrator: It was another witch who looked just like Ritsuko Akizuki, only her black hat and mask over her face, wearing pink gloves, a black suit, black cape with a collar, and green shoes.
The boys: Ritsuko Akizuki!?!?!
Digifiend: No, boys, This here is Ritsuko Akizuki, The Wicked Witch of the West, and the sister of Chihaya Kisaragi, The Wiked Witch of the East.
Ike: Sister!?
Digifiend: That's right, And Ritsuko is much worser then Chihaya ever was.
[Ritsuko looked around with angry and shifty eyes, until she saw Chihaya's feet sticking out under the plane. Then, Ritsuko looked behind himself and saw Digifiend, Cartman, Stan, Kenny, Kyle and Ike just standing there.]
Ritsuko: Alright, which one of you knobs killed my sister? WHO KILLED THE WITCH OF THE EAST!?!?!!!
Stan: I did, miss.
Ritsuko: Well, that takes care of that, I hated the old bat any way.
[Ritsuko pulls out a list of people she hated and wanted to kill, and crossed off Chihaya's name off of it.]
Ritsuko: Now if you excuse me, I'll be taking the ruby shoes of hers with me. [puts the list back in her coat pocket.]
Digifiend: Why do you want them for? They won't be able to fit your feet. And besides, they are women's shoes.
Ritsuko: I'm NOT going to wearing them, you fool! I'm going to take away the powers that are in them.
[Ritsuko turned back to get the shoes off her dead sister's feet.]
Digifiend: Now watch me, pull a magic trick on him.
[Before Ritsuko could get the shoes off, the feet were swifting away to the other side of where she is. Ritsuko went over the the other side, but the feet went back the side where they were. It turns to to be a magic trick that Digifiend was pulling on Ritsuko. Ritsuko stopped chasing the moving feet and looked back at Digifiend with a ticked-off look on her face.]
Ritsuko: Enough of your games there, Digifiend! You better saty out of this or I'll...
Digifiend: Bah! Your have no powers here, Ritsuko! Now be gone before they drop a plane on you!
Ritsuko: Very well, I'll leave this place, but I'll still have my adventions! And as for you! If you thought that my sister was evil, just wait until you see what I have in store for you, toots!
[A battle royal begins. Tron Guy whips out a frisbee and chucks it at Numa Numa. It hits Numa Numa's left cheek]
Numa Numa Guy: Haw!
[Afro Ninja fights the Star Wars Kid, Numa Numa fights Tron Guy, Chris Crocker fights Chocolate Train Guy. Afro Ninja knocks Star Wars Guy away with his nunchucks, then tries a back flip and falls on his face. He gets up groggily and stumbles away. The baby laughs some more]
Kyle: Okay, forget it. We'll wait our turn.
Tron Guy: Hai Hayaaa!
Numa Numa: Ma-iyahi Ma-iyahu Ma-iyah- [kicks Tron Guy in the balls, then lands a left hook on his face]
Chris Crocker: [jumps in to separate the two men] Leave Tron Guy alone! Leave him alone! [the baby continues laughing. Chocolate Rain Guy grabs Chris Crocker by the hair and drags him around. Chris is screaming]
Chocolate Rain Guy: Get ready for some chocolate pain, bitch! [aims his right at Chris' head. Chris quickly bites Chocolate Rain Guy's right leg, making him drop the gun. The mother panda mauls Numa Numa, Tron Guy throws his frisbee again, and Chris Crocker jumps in again]
Chris Crocker: Leave the panda alone! Leave her alone, I'm serious! [the mother panda stands on her hind legs and just swats Chris out of view, killing him. Chocolate Rain Guy reaches for his fallen gun, turns around, and kills Star Wars Kid with two shots. The mother panda mauls Tron Guy to death, and Chocolate Rain Guy kills the panda with four shots. He then aims at the gopher]
Chocolate Rain Guy: Thought I forgot about you, Gopher?! [the gopher, who's facing away from him, suddenly turns its head to him, looking at him intently] Ughhh, my brains. [his head swells up and explodes. His body staggers for a few seconds, then falls to the side. One last bullet leaves his gun and blows the gopher's head off. Anyone who was involved in the battle is gone]
[Then Ritsuko laughed eviley, and disappeared in flash with his red smoke.]
Digifiend: She's gone now, You can come out now.
[All of the Munchkins got out from their hiding spots again, feeling all reliefed that The Wicked Witch has vanished from here.]
Stan: What's the deal with you and Ritsuko being enemies?
Digifiend: Well haven't always been enemies, until some point back at Shiz High, she snapped and became this way.
Cartman: How did it happen?
Narrator: Digifiend had explained that she and Ritsuko were both apprentices of magic back at Shiz High. Both had studyed hard at praticing spells, creating postions, but Ritsuko was obsessed with her magic so much, she would do anything to become the Witch of North (which was the most highest and immortant point for a witch to rule), even if it means using the dark side of magic or taking all of the magic items she could find. Then one day, during the ceramoney of promoting the Witches and Warlocks to their sides of the land to control, one of the other students caught Ritsuko red handed to trying to kill a Munchkin with black magic. So after Ritsuko was expelled and got promoted as the Witch of the West, Digifiend got the job of being the Witch of the North.
Digifiend: And after that day, he had done more and more spells to make all of people who lived in the West more miserable, and plotting his revenge to gather up all of magic items of witches and warlocks and rule all of Oz.
Kyle: Well, that's explains alot. By the way what are going to do the witch under my house?
[Digifiend looked at where the feet of the now dead Chihaya are, and thought up an idea.]
Digifiend: Hold on a minute, [rushed to the side of the Softies' wendy house. She took off both of the ruby shoes off of Chihaya's feet, and watched as Chihaya's feet curled up backwards and pulled themselves under the house.] Here, take these shoes and wear them.
Stan: You want ME to wear shoes that were on some old witch's nasty feet!?!
Kenny: (I don't think so!)
Digifiend: Look, have to wear these shoes for three reasons, One, they have magic in them, second they give you the magic powers they have in them, and third they'll look better on you then me.
Stan: Alright, I'll try them on. [He took off his sneakers and placed his feet into the ruby shoes. Surprisingly they fit him, despite the fact that they were on some witch's big feet.] Amazing! They must've magically tranform themselves to fit my feet.
Kyle: But I have another question, How am I suppose to get back to Kansas now that I'm here in this strange new land?
Digifiend: If you want to seek answeres to questions such as that, you must go the Emerald City to seek the one made me become a whole-fledged warlock, The Almighty Wizard of Oz!
Cartman: What's the wizard like?
Digifiend: I don't know, I haven't seen him for years, And in order to get Emerald City, just fallow this road made out of yellow-bricks, and it'll get you there in no time. You might also need this too on your journey.
Stan: What was that for? Good luck?
Digifiend: It's to protect from any danger the Wicked Witch of the West can throw at you, And never give up those shoes or you'll be nothing but a target for her to destroy.
Kyle: I promise I won't
Kenny: (though I still don't know how's a kiss gonna protect me)
Chocolate Rain Guy: Good luck on your journey, kids!
Afro Ninja: We'll be rooting for ya!
Stan: Thank you!
Kyle: Look, we don't have a lot of time here, okay? Can you just tell us where the new Prime Minister is?
Doctor: The new Prime Minister doesn't live in this part of Canada. He's in Ottawa. [the other Canadians concur]
Kyle: So how do we get to Ottawa?
Wrestler: Oh that's easy. You just have to follow the road.
Cartman: Which road?!
Firefighter: This is Canada. We only have one road. [he moves to one side and the crowd splits in two to allow the boys through]
Priest: Follow the only road.
Man: Follow the only road.
Canadians: To go anywhere in Canada, you just follow the only road. There's only one road in Canada. We call it the Road, the only road. Hip-hip, hooray, let's hear it for our Road.
Road Workers: And it's paved and wide and up to code.
Stan: All right dude, let's get the hell out of here!
Kyle: Word!
Canadians: You're off to see the Prime Minister, the Prime Minister of Canada!
Doctor: Good-bye, friends! Good luck with the new Prime Minister! And remember to watch out for Scott! He's a dick!
Canadians: Good-bye, good-bye, see ya, good luck.
Narrator: Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike had walked down the Yellow Brick road for miles, until they stopped by a corn field to rest their feet.
[The Road, day.]
Kyle: Walking down to Emerald City is a lot harder then it looks, huh boy?
Stan: But on the plus side, the ruby shoes aren't high-heeled, so my feet won't get sore on the way and it shouldn't take too long.
[Then Ike suddenly heard the noise of crow, coming from the corn field, Ike went inside in the corn field to chase the crow.]
Kyle: Ike! [Ike continued to chase the crow any way, so Kyle had to go in and get him out.]
Narrator: Suddenly, Kyle heard someone getting hurt in the corn field, not too far from where he was chasing after Ike. Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike went down deeper into the corn field, until they had reached the centure of it. And right in the middle was a Mountie scarecrow, being pecked by a crow on his hat.
Cartman: [checking his watch] Twenty hours until Christmas. Our parents still have time to buy us presents IF we hurry. [a mountie appears]
Narrator: But, it didn't look like any ordinary scarecrow Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny and Ike had seen back on the farm, besides being a mountie, the scarecrow was also alive. As for the mountie scarecrow's appearances, he had a Canadian mountie's uniform. The scarecrow looked alot like Rick.
Mountie: Ow! Ow! Stop it, will ya?! This is the last straw! [raises his hand and slapped the crow really hard.]
[And crow flew away still cackling at the scarecrow.]
Mountie: Darn crows! Always keep pecking on my hat, making fun of me, taking away the corn and parts of my straw.
[Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike walked up closer to the scarecrow to take a better look at him, and the scarecrow noticed them beside him.]
Mountie: Ahoy there, travelers. Hello!
Kyle: Who are you?
Mountie: I am Scarecrow Rick, the proud Canadian Mountie. [he's shown riding a sheep]
Sheep: Baaaah.
Stan: Okay Scarecrow Rick, I thought mounties were supposed to ride horses.
Rick: [scracthed his head and hangs his head a bit] Yes. Yes, we are. But our funding has been cut and now we're forced to ride...
Sheep: Baaaah.
Rick: Good, cause I just saw him go that way.
Cartman: Thanks!
Stan: Okay...., then I'll go that way.
Rick: But course, he could've gone in both directions.
Kyle: Can't you make up your mind already!?
Rick: Can't make up my mind cause I don't have one, My head is full of nothing but straw.
[Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike walked back up to Scarecrow Rick to talk to him closer.]
Kyle: If you don't have a brain, how come you can talk?
Rick: To tell you the truth, I wasn't always a scarecrow.
Stan: You weren't?!
Rick: Yeah, it all began all the way back at Shiz High.
Stan: You went to Shiz High!?
Rick: That's right, Not only that, I've also found these. [stripped his sweatshirt to reavel some of the stitches where the henchman took his organs and bones out.]
Stan: I can't believe they did that to you.
Rick: Well, that's how I became a scarecrow in the first place. [he closes up his sweatshirt again.]
Cartman: That was terrible for the warlock to give you a harsh punishment.
Rick: Speaking of terrible, can you try get me down from this stick? I've stuck on this stick forever and I'd like to move around once again.
Stan: Sure, Where should I untie you?
Rick: Behind my back, It's like trying to scratch an itch you can't reach, for me that is.
[Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Ike went behind Scarecrow Rick to untie him from the stick.]
Rick: Now, you see that nail behind me?
Stan: Yeah
Rick: Good, I want you untie the rope knot on it, and then pull the nail out.
[Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike did what Scarecrow Rick told them to do, and Scarecrow Rick was finally free and he fell down with a flop.]
Stan: Sorry
Rick: I'm alright, Stan, don't worry too much [he tried to get up from the ground]
[But as Scarecrow Rick tried to up, his whole body was all wiggley like he was going fall before the first step.]
Ike: Here, let me help get up [rushed up to help Scarecrow Rick]
Rick: Thanks, I have walked in aged since they replaced my bones with wire
[With Ike helping him by his side, Scarecrow Rick was able to get back on his feet, but he was still a bit clumsy]
Kyle: Boy, having a life as a scarecrow must be very hard for you
Rick: Well, they have taken away my bones, organs, brain, balance, But I'll tell you one thing they haven't take away from me.
Kenny: (What's that?)
Rick: My rhythem and dance, [starts to sing and dance] I used to to be quite a good fool
Anything to pull a great prank was
my main tool
As for classes at school,
I was a total flop
They say if I had put my mind at
the right place
I would've been an Ace
And make it to the top
But now that I'm stuffed
with straw and hay
If you would be so kind,
Here's what I have to say
Lose your mind!
You won't have to worry
Or take a test in a hurry
All of your cares will be free
Heck, it's better being boring or plain
You're life will be easy once your looney-tuney,
Trust me
[spokes softly] But still, it would be nice to....you know.... have a brain
[song's tone starts going slow]
Confusion becomes my major pain
Answers are more hard to find
People mark you as being dumb or insane
That's what happens when you
lose your mind
Stan: I can see that,
Rick: Yeah, and if I had a brain I'd show those crows who's the real smart one in this field
Stan: Hey! You know, We're going to Emerald City to ask the Wizard to sent us home, Maybe he can give you brain as well.
Rick: You think he might? After all, I wasn't one of his favorite students or anything, I'm not so sure if he would give me one.
Stan: I think he might, And since it's your wish, you travel with us to the Emerald City.
Cartman: But if you don't mind, we're in a rush to see the new Prime Minister.
Rick: You're going to see the new Prime Minister. Oh, I would so like to meet him myself. It's his strange new laws that took our horses away. Perhaps I will go with you.
Kyle: That's okay, we'd rather just go by ourselves.
Rick: Follow me this way! We're going to see the Prime Minister, the Prime Minister of Canada!
Scott: [monitoring their progress over remote cameras] Power-hungry Americans! I'll fix you!
Narrator: So now Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Ike are off to the Emerald City with their new friend, Scarecrow Rick be their side. Miles and miles, they had walked down the Yellow-Brick road.
[Further down the Road, Rick and the boys pass through another town]
Cartman: Oh Jesus, eighteen hours. We're running out of time!
Rick: All right boys, prepare yourselves. We're about to enter... French Canada.
Kyle: French Canada?
[Scarecrow Rick had discovered something up ahead on a hill.]
Rick: Hey, Stan You don't have to wait to go to a resteraunt to eat now. There's an apple orcher dead head on the hill up there.
[Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny and Ike looked at where Scarecrow Rick said the orcher was at]
Stan: You were right, SR, Let's go up there and pick some apples to take with us.
[So now the gang headed up to the orcher.]
Tree: Don't even think about it,
Ike: Y-You just talked to me?
Tree: Who else you think I'm talkin' too?
Kyle: I just wanted an apple, okay?
Tree: Well how would you like it if someone picks somethin' off of you? I'll show how to get apples from this guy, just stick with my plan.
Rick: Come on boys, you don't want any of those apples growing on that weed. [And he and The boys started to walk away.]
[The tree began to get all ticked off.]
Tree: What did ya called me, punk?
Rick: I wasn't insaulting you, I just insaulted an over-grown fungus.
Tree: Why you?!?!!?!
Rick: Help yourself to some tossed apples, Kyle
[After gathering the apples, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, Ike and Scarecrow Rick desided to stop at the forest which was down the hill the orcher and on the right side of the yellow-brick road.]
Rick: Here you go, Kenny [he gave Kenny one of the apples]
Kenny: (Thanks) [takes the apple, and just after he just took a bite out of it, he saw something shinning not too far from where he and his friends are.]
Narrator: Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and Ike had desided to go up to where the shine came from. The shine was coming from the North-East of the forest. They went deep into the forest, and finally found where the shine was coming from. And it turns out that the shine was coming from a shiny silver mime, who was sleeping by the tree all covered with vines. The silver mime had a black hat, a white and black striped shirt and black overalls. To the boys, the mime seemed very familiar to them.
French Canadians: [Before them, lots of French Canadians cavort like it's Euro Disney, with circus performers of all stripes doing what they do best.] There'z no Canada like French Canada, it'z za bezt Canada in ze land. Ze ozer Canada is hardly Canada. If you lived here for a day, you'd understand.
Mime: Honh honh honnnh! Welcome to French Canada.
Hockey Player: We have everyzing your heart could desire. Trapezes. Trampolines. And lots and lots of cheese.
Artist: [takes off his mustache] Would you like a moustache?
Rick: Just stay calm, boys. French Canadians are a little... odd. [behind them, two of them walk by. One is dressed in blue and looks a bit like an alien. The other is dressed something like He-Man, with long flowing locks.]
Stan: Why he's made made out of tin
Kyle: Scarecrow Rick! Ike! You got to come and see this! I found a mime made out of tin!
[Kyle walked back to the Tin Mime, to untie the vines off of him.]
Kyle: Don't worry, pal I'll have you untangled in no time.
[But just when Kyle was untying the vines, the Tin Mime started to open his eyes.]
[The Tin Mime was finally awake, and saw Kyle untying the vines off of him.]
Mime: You missed a knot
Kenny: (Thank you)
Mime: No, don't run away, I'm not gonna attack you.
Kenny: (No, but you gave me a fright, I thought you were just an abanded sculture left out here or something.)
Stan: Ah, we're just passing through to see the new Prime Minister.
Mime: Well first you must answer that phone. [makes his left hand into a phone receiver] Ring-ring. Ring-ring.
Kyle: We don't have time for this.
Mime: You cannot pass through French Canada unless you take zat phone call! [holds out his "phone"] Ring-ring. Ring-ring. [Kyle responds by make his right hand into a phone and answering]
Kyle: Hello?
Mime: Allo. If you are going to see za new Prime Minister, then I want to go with you. He has passed a new law forbidding us French Canadians to drink wine.
Artist: [walks up to the boys] How can ze French not drink wine?? Travestie!
Rick: Long time no see there, old pal
[The two high-fived each other to show how glad they are to see each other]
Cartman: Wait, you two know each other?
Rick: Sure We were classmates back at Shiz High.
Mime: What brings you here to the forest?
Rick: I'm going to the Emerald City with The boys, to go see the Wizard, and ask him to give me a brain.
Mime: If you are going to see the Wizard, would you mind if I go too? You see I have a wish for him to grant to me.
Stan: What do you wish for, Tin Mime?
Mime: A heart
Rick: Why do you need a heart for?
Mime: To love someone
Kyle: Haven't you ever loved anyone before?
Mime: I did once, back when I was a real mime
Stan: Who was it that you loved?
[Tin Mime got out a Shiz High yearbook, which was surprisingly in the cavity of the tree, and turned it to the right page.]
Cartman: So it was the Wicked Witch of the East that turned to tin
Mime: Yes, and now that I have no heart, I can not love Chihaya anymore, and without Chihaya, I'm nothing [starts to sing in a sad tone] So long ago, I used to
know what love meant
But now that I'm made of metal,
I don't know how to show it, or where
did it went
The one I loved was so close to me
But now that my heart is gone
I guess we'll never be meant to be
For what has been done
Being heartless, isn't worth it
If I could only see my love once more
I'd could show her how much I adore her
But how could she ever love someone
with no heart?
I might as not live and fall apart
Or let me rust in the bay
Since that writched spell took my heart
away
Stan: I'm very sorry about that, You can come with us to the Emerald City to asked the Wizard for a heart.
Rick: Yeah, and mabey you and the boys will be together again
Mime: Oh thank you!
Narrator: And just before everyone was getting ready to go on the road to the Emerald City, Ritsuko appaered above an old empty house.
Ritsuko: "Laughing" It's been a while since I last saw you two loser back at high school And see that your with the boys that killed my sister with a house and took her magic shoes away from me. Well you better stay away from her!
Rick: Get lost, Ritsuko! It's all your fault that I'm a clumsy haybag with no brain!
Mime: And your sister was the one that made me lost the love I had for my girlfriend!
Ritsuko: Hey Scarecrow! Wanna play some play!? [throws a large fire ball out the gang, and they flee out of the way.]
[After Ritsuko left in a puff of smoke, the gang walked back to the Yellow Brick road.]
Rick: I'm not afraid that witch, I'll get to the Wizard, and with or without a brain, I'll show Ritsuko a thing!
Mime: And I'll show him a thing or two, with or without a heart Let him try to make a tea kettle out of me!
Cartman: I'm mad at him as much as you guys are, but for right now, let's consintrate on getting to Emerald City.
Kyle: Okay, you can come with us.
Mime: Honh honnnh! Very good! Let us make haste!
French Canadians: [they escort the boys out and on their way with the Mime and the Mountie] There'z no Canada like French Canada, it'z za bezt Canada in ze land. And ze ozer Canada.
Mime: Is a bullshit Canada
French Canadians: If you lived here for a day, you'd understand. [the small group leaves the town behind]
Mime: I think you'd understand. ...You understand.
Narrator: at the ice factory
Worker 1: Hey there! Watch where you're in other people's homes.
[Stan, Kenny, Cartman, Kyle, Ike, Scarecrow Rick, and Tin Mime ran up by the ice factory to see behind a tree, all shaking with fright.]
Stan: What did you saw that scared you, boy? Did you see The Wicked Witch?
Mime: I don't see any workers here, it's just an ice factory
Rick: The workers saw in the moving ice
Kyle: I thought I told you to not lick the ice with your tongue in it!
Workers: Hi there!
Stan: Sorry, it's just that you look just like someone I knew, and I didn't mean to call you that.
[Then the Workers looked at Scarecrow Rick and Tin Mime, and he recongized them]
Mime: Good to see you, pal!
Cartman: You know them?
Worker 1: Sure, I went to Shiz High with them
Worker 2: Me too
Kyle: Did you guys went to high school with the workers at the ice factory.
Mime: No, they work at the ice factory the last time we saw them We thought that they thought they work in two days before graduation.
Ike: Work?
Rick: Yeah, we heard that they were drowned into the ice factory
Worker 2: I wasn't just drowned, Ritsuko dropped us in it
Kenny: (But why did they do that and how did you survive?)
Worker 1: You better believe it, By the way, why are you doing out here by the ice factory?
Cartman: We're on our way to the Emerald City to go see The Wizard to see if they can grant our wishes, To give us way back home to Kansas, Tin Mime a heart, and a brain for Scarecrow Rick.
Worker 2: If you guys are going there, then we're going too
Mime: What do you the Wizard to grant you?
Worker 1: I want him to see he would've make me more usefull, instead just being a walking-talking beverage.
Workers: [start to sing] We're the workers at the ice factory
Living with the fish, prawns, crabs, frogs, and a
big squid
And you tell us,
What good are we?
We're not as sold or stable as slime
We could either freeze, evaporated, and never dry
But that's just a big waste of time
Oh please, tell us
What good are we?
Having algea, seaweed, and rocks as a dojo
We're getting sick of it in everyway
Face it, we'll a need is a brand new mojo
So we can leave this low wet life and start a new one,
That's what we say
If we were more than just a walking pond of bore,
Then we'll get some respect I deserve
But let's face it, it might not happen
So please tell us,
What good are we use for?
Stan: Well, what are we waiting for? Come on lets get back on the road and go to Emerald City.
Cartman: You can came with us too, Workers.
Narrator: So now there are nine people on their way to the Emerald City to see the Wizard, but the next place down the Yellow Brick road might lead the gang to danger and terror.
[Newfoundland. The group arrives at a dark place.]
Narrator: Night time suddenly came, and the Yellow Brick road had lead the Workers, the Mime, Rick, and the boys to a dark and scary forest where there was a very misty ground, old crooked trees, and strange noise very where. The forest is very frightening, but the gang knew that they should go right through if they want to go to Emerald City. Suddenly they stopped as they heard a strange noise coming from anywhere in this neck of the woods.
Rick: Oh my! This certainly is a desolate place!
Mime: It reminds me of death and fear.
Cartman: How much further to Ottawa! Christmas is only twelve hours away.
Rick: We must be very close now.
Stan: It's okay you guys, It's only an owl.
Rick: It's not the owls we're afraid of, Stan It's the other creatures that live here in this forest.
Kyle: What other creatures could be lurking in forest?
Worker 1: Anything you wouldn't find in the average forest back where you live
Mime: Yeah, and if I had a heart, it would be pounding with fear just mention what could be in here
Ike: What animals are there in the dark forest?
Rick: I heard that there is a large cat with big bushy hair around it's neck in the forest
Kyle: You mean a lion!?
Mime: I heard that a large orange cat with black stripes live here
Kenny: (You mean a tiger!?)
Worker 2: Well I heard that the creature wasn't a cat, but it was large and brown with no tail
Ike: You mean a bear!?
[The gang scooted closer to each other and started to run faster to make sure they don't run into an lions, tigers, or bears on their way.]
Scott: [jumps out in front of them] Ey! What are you doing?!
Rick: Waaaah!
Mime: Oh no. It's Scott.
Scott: What are you two doing helping these Americans?! Don't you know America thinks it owns Canada along with the rest of the world?!
Rick: You're a dick, Scott!
Scott: You're a dick! And by helping Americans, you're just as smelly as they are! Now I'm going to get you!
Fisherman: [exits a house with a fish in his left hand and a pole in his right] Not so fast, Scott!
[Until, coming out of nowhere was a large ferocious lion with a human-like body, letting out a big roar.]
Narrator: The lion-Steve scared the heck out of The boys, as the lion-fisherman started to pounce Scarecrow Rick, Tin Mime, and the Workers to the ground, while the boys hiding behind a tree. As the lion-Steve stopped right in the middle of the road, just growling at the gang to scare them, The boys took a better look at him, and noticed that the lion-fisherman had a fisherman's outfit. The lion-Steve looked a lot like Steve the Newfoudlander, he even sounded like him as he rosed up on his hinde legs, his arms were in a boxing postion, and spoke.
Scott: Who the hell are you?!
Fisherman: I'm Steve the Newfoudlander. And you're on Newfoundland property now! Get off before I have you arrested!
Scott: Ugh! This isn't over! Not by a long shot! I'll fix you. I'll fix all of you!! [leaves in a huff. Steve draws closer to the group]
Rick: Woo, that was a close call. Thank you, kind Newfie!
Kyle: God-damnit, we need to get to the new Prime Minister! NOW!
Steve: Alright you weaklings, get up here and face me like a man! Put up your dukes if you can! Why I can beat you with my eyes close, or hand behind my back! I like to see one of try it!
Mime: W-Why do you wanna pick up a fight with us for? We didn't do anything to harm you.
Steve: That's some pretty big talk coming from a can, Lay one finger on me and I'll beat you to the junkyard! Put your arms up and try to face me, you bag of hay!
Rick: Let's not too personal, Lion-Steve After all I'm not some kind of punching bag.
Worker 2: You should teach him a lesson, pal
Mime: Why won't you teach him yourself?
Worker 1: I barely even know this guy
Steve: Oh yeah, the Prime Minister, eh? He sure has screwed up things for Newfoundland. Life just hasn't been the same since he made sodomy illegal.
Mime: Well, come with us! Maybe you can ask him to take his sodomy ban away.
Kyle: Can we just get going, please?
Steve: Yeah, sure, except there's just one problem.
Stan: What?
Steve: You folks are goin' the wrong way.
Stan: What?? But I thought there was one road in Canada.
Steve: Yeah. And you all went the wrong direction on it.
Rick: Ohh, that's right. Ottawa is that way. [points behind the group]
Mime: Of course. Ottawa left, Newfoundland right!
Steve: It's been a long time since I last saw you guys!
Stan: Let me guess, You went to Shiz High with them?
Steve: That's right, And the reason why you're a coward is because-
Cartman: It has something to do with the Wicked Witch taking away your bravery, and now you are a coward wearing a lion suit just to look brave
Steve: How did you know?
Cartman: Why did you all went to Shiz High, even though it's for witches and warlocks?
Rick: It was the only high school here in Oz, and anyone can go to it, magical or not
Worker 2: So when did Ritsuko turned you into a coward?
Mime: Yeah the last time that we saw you, you used to be the bravest student at school
Steve: He took it away from me when he dared me to do something I couldn't do
Rick: What's that?
Steve: Climbing the stone wall, And ever since I chickened out, the Wicked witch too away all of my courage. I'm practically afraid of everything now.
Stan: [grimacing] Oh no!
Cartman: [glaring at Rick] How could you be so stupid!
Kyle: There's no way we can go all the way back. We'll never make it now!
Kenny: (There's no way you can be afraid of everything)
Rick: It's okay, boys. The power is inside us to get to Ottawa! We can wish ourselves there!
Steve: Oh believe me I can, [starts to sing to show is cowardness] When the lights go out
And the moon is black,
There's only one word I always shout
[screams] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
The unspeakable horrors galore
Ghostes, goblins, gremlins, creepers
Bats, evil witches and warlocks, and more
You name it, it's nothing I'm looking forward
Anything that tingles me, gives me a fright
What can I say?
I'm a spine-less coward
They say I should be a brave like a lion
And step foot into a haunted house
But whenever I hear a scream, shriek, or boo
I always come out running with fear like
a mouse
What can I say?
I'm a spine-less coward
Whenever I see eyes glaring at me
My ensticts tell me that I should flee
Or when something with fangs starts to drool
I always hide behind or under things,
I know it isn't cool
But what can I say?
I'm just a spine-less coward
Ike: I guess you can be afraid of everything
Stan: Hey! We are on our way to Emerald City to see the Wizard, If he can grant our wish to get us home, a brain for Scarecrow Rick, a heart for Tin Mime, and an ice for the workers, maybe he can give you courage.
Mime: Ah yes, let's wish ourselves there. [the three Canadians close their eyes and wish real hard]
Rick: [peeks with his left eye] Is it working?
Cartman: Oh, God-damnit! Well I warned you Kyle! I told you if I missed Christmas we were gonna throw down! [puts up his fists] Well it's on! We're gonna have it our RIGHT NOW! [grabs Kyle by the collar]
Steve: You think so?
Cartman: Sure! Come along with us if you want your wish to be granted.
Steve: [now in his boat at the end of a dock] Of course, we could always take my boat, eh?
Rick: Oh yes! On the river we could travel to Ottawa in no time!
Kyle: Well come on! [everyone hops into the boat]
Steve: Okay, next stop, the new Prime Minister. [the boat leaves the dock and goes on its way]
Kyle: Do you think we can still make it in time?
Cartman: We'd better, Kyle. Or you're dead.
Narrator: Now there are ten people on their journey to Emerald City, and ask the Wizard to grant their wishes. Meanwhile in the West Castle, Ritsuko was watching the gang through her crystal ball, thanks to the hidden cameras in a owl dummy that was watching the boys talking.
Ritsuko: Maybe getting those shoes will be a lot more easier then thought with those losers fallowing her.
Producer: Why do you want your sister's ruby shoes for, boss? I dout that they'll fit you.
Ritsuko: For the last time, you imbusiles! I'm NOT gonna wear those shoes! I'm gonna take the power that's in them!
Kotori: Duh, how are you gonna do that?
Ritsuko: It's very simple. Once I get the shoes off of the girl's feet, I'll burn those shoes until they are ashes, then I eat the ashes like Pixie Stix sugar. That why I'll absorbed the powers that were in those shoes.
Junichirou: So you're gonna eat burned shoes?!
Flying Monkies: EWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Ritsuko: Well get over it being disgusting, cause that's how it's going to work First, I'm gonna plan a few surprises for the boys and their friends.
Roger: Don't even think about it, Ristuko! [a puff of smoke blocked the image of the boys.]
[The smoke thinned a bit to reveal Digifiend's head inside the crystal ball.]
Ritsuko: Digifeind! How did you find did you find a way to contract me through my crystal ball?!?!
Digifiend: I got Crystall Wi-Fi connection, Now leave the boys alone!
Ritsuko: Look, you better stay out of this, you over-grown gnome! Or I'll destory you with my black magic!
Digifiend: Try it! You know that after the Wizard expelled you, he forbid you to use black magic on anyone outside of the West!
Ritsuko: The Wizard was a total nut to think that I'll fall for that trick, Now get off my crystball and let me do my work!
[Ritsuko zapped the crystal ball and Digifiend's illusion disappeared and the crytal ball was back to watching the boys.]
Ritsuko: As for these traveling clowns, I'll send them two creatures I know who lives in the forest "Laughing"
Narrator: Back in the woods, Steve, the Workers, the Mime, Rick, and the boys were walking farther down the road through the dark forest. Every was going fine, until the Cowardly Lion-Steve thought up a direction change.
[The Parliament building, dawn. Steve and the rest of the party pull up to the small dock at one end of the grounds]
Steve: Here we are at the Parliament buildin'. I think we should go down a different direction
Mime: Ze Prime Minister is inside.
Cartman: [hops off the boat and runs towards Parliament] Well come on, let's hurry! It's almost Christmas! [the rest of the group follows]
Rick: Yeah, Emerald City is just at the end of this path
Mime: If we go in a different direction we might accidentally end up in West territory
Steve: But up ahead is the the territory of the kalidahs!
Stan: Kali-whats?
Worker 1: A creature in Oz that might be different from any of the speieces of animals where you live
Steve: The kalidahs some of the most fearsome creatures I've ever seen! With heads of a Siberian tigers, bodies of grizzley bears, claws of wolverines, tails like coyotes, teeth like snow lepoards, and horns on their heads like goats!
Rick: They like to rip anyone who comes near their territory to shreds. I may not be smart, but I know there's no such thing as kalidahs.
Worker 2: Those were just some creatures made-up to encourage kids not to go into the woods at night
Mime: And I've through many different woods before, and I haven't seen any kalidahs
Steve: That's because they can turn themselves invisible until they get a scent of meat in their territories
Cartman: Enough stopping us, Lion Steve Now let's not worry about those kalidah, and go to the Emerald City.
[Suddenely, Lion-Steve heard a snarl echoing through the forest. The gang stopped to wait on him, but he didn't catch up, the Lion-Steve was just standing there with his jaw opened.]
Cartman: What's wrong, Lion-Steve? Are you coming, or what?
Steve: KA-KA-KA-KA-KAK-KAK-KA-KA-KA-KA-KALIDAHS!!!!! [Then he zoomed off at lighting speed, while screaming.]
[The boys and the guys watched as Lion-Steve disappeared, then they heard the snarling noise as well. They turned around, and right behind them were two large kalidahs looking all visious. Lion-Steve was right about what the kalidahs looked like and they really existed. Then they started to run and catch up with Lion-Steve as the kalidahs tried to attack them.]
Steve: Now do you believe in me about the kalidahs?
Stan: Less talking and more running right now!
[Everyone ran and ran as the kalidahs tried to catch them.]
Ritsuko: Now to add some more fun into this chase [watches the gang getting chased by the kalidahs, then she uses her magic to destory the bridge to Emerald City, which is above a deep trench (two cliffs apart from each other).]
[The gang continued to run away from the kalidahs, until they were almost at the edge of where the bridge was destoryed.]
Cartman: Oh great, we're trapped between a very dead end and the kalidahs
Kyle: How are we gonna get across from here to get to Emerald City, and get away from those monsters?
Rick: Call me crazy, but I thought up an idea. Maybe we can jump across from here.
Stan: Jump?! You are crazy!
Kenny: (The space between here and the other side are like ten feet away from each other!)
Rick: Fine, I'll go first to see if it works! [bravely volunteered to try his plan first. He stepped back a bit fether, then ran back at a fast pace, sprang up with one foot, and in just a few seconds he made it across all in one piece.] I made it! Come on, you guys it's your turn!
[The ice factory workers and Tin Mime were able to make across, but Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Ike and Lion-Steve were still on the other side.]
Mime: Come on you two! Hurry before the kalidahs get you!
[The kalidahs were coming closer to where Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, Ike and Lion-Steve are, so those had to hurry up before they are the kalidahs main dish.]
Steve: Grab on to me, boys, I'll take you to the other side with me.
[Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike jumped onto Lion-Steve's back and before the kalidah started to attacked them, Lion-Steve took a giant leap across the trench, and he and the boys made it the other side safely. Everyone was finally away from the kalidahs and back on the road to the Emerald City.]
Worker 1: Are you alright, Stan?
Stan: Yes, I'm alright I can't believe that Lion-Steve jump that far.
Steve: It was nothing (though I wish you could've weighed a little bit lighter)
[Ike pointed up to the sky, and up there was shining shining up there, and it wasn't just the stars.]
Ike: Green lights, They must be coming from from.....
All: Emerlad City!
Stan: We're almost there! Now come on! Let's get to it!
Narrator: Now everyone started walk a bit faster as they can not wait to go to the Emerald City. Ritsuko watched as the boys and the guys were heading their way to Emerald City.
Ritsuko: Curses! They foiled my trap!
Narrator: Then she started to think up another idea.
Ritsuko: But I bet they won't be able to foil this one [she got up from her chair and grabbed one of her magic elements from her shelf.]
Producer: Hey boss, what are ya gonna do with that sleeping dust?
Ritsuko: Pay close attention to the image I'll show on my crystal ball [moved her right hand around the crystal ball until their was an image of a field of flowers on it.]
Junichirou: Poppy flowers? But I thought you hate flowers, boss.
Ritsuko: I do (they make my skin crawl), but that's where those fools are heading to next, and once I cast a spell on the poppies with this sleeping dust, they'll be sleep puffing-weeds in discuise, Once that girl and her knobs take a wiff of the seeds that has the dust in them, they'll forget all about their journey and fall asleep for a decade. [she took one hand full of the sleeping dust, and throws it at the crystal ball, but the dust didn't land on the ball, it fell from the sky where the poppy field is, and the dust landed on them.]
Narrator: It wasn't too long before the gang made it to where the poppy field is, which it was on both sides of the Yellow Brick road.
Stan: The green lights are getting bigger, that means we're getting close!
[The guys all began to run with the boys down the Yellow Brick road to get to Emerald City really fast. As they were running pass the poppies, the poppies began to puff out small seeds in small clouds. The sleeping seeds didn't effect Scarecrow Rick, Tin Mime, nor the Workers, but the scent of them reached Cartman's nose. Stan slowly began to stop running.]
Stan: Wait you guys, I can't run anymore
Rick: Come on Kenny, we can't stop now
Mime: Emerald City is just a mile away from here
Ike: Sorry, but I just feel very tired
Worker 1: You have stay awake if you want the Wizard to grant your wish today
Kenny: (Workers, you just got to chill and relax a bit)
Kyle: Now where's Ike?
[Kyle found Ike sleeping in the right side of the poppy field, and he started to asleep by him.]
Mime: Wake up, Ike! Don't give up now!
[Then Cowardly Lion-Steve started to feel dizzy as well.]
Steve: You know what guys, Ike's right we should stay here in this poppy field for a while.
Worker 2: Don't you asleep on us too [he and Scarecrow Rick try to prevent Lion-Steve from fainting and fall asleep, but Lion-Steve instantely fell asleep and landed in the left side of the poppy field.]
[Tin Mime turned around and spoke to Scarecrow Rick and the Workers.]
Mime: It's no use guys, I can't get Kyle to wake up
[Then the Workers suddenly notice the poppies puffing the seeds.]
Worker 1: This is odd
Worker 2: Since when do flowers puff out their seeds like an eletric air-freshiner?
[Tin Mime grabbed some seeds that were puffed out of the poppies, and took a very good look at them.]
Mime: Guys! These aren't poppy seeds! Take a look at them!
[Scarecrow Rick and the Workers gathered up to see what Tin Mime was talking about.]
Rick: How can you tell?
Mime: Well normal poppy seeds are blue, these are black
Worker 2: Then what are they?
[Tin Mime picked up one of the seeds and crumbled it until it was nothing but purple specks.]
Three Canadians: It's sleeping dust!!!
Rick: Ritsuko must be behind this just to stop us from seeing the Wizard
Worker 1: Let's get Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike away from the field and just have keep on going to Emerald City
Narrator: Tin Mime started to carry Stan, Scarecrow Rick carried Ike, the Workers started to carry Kenny and Kyle, and the Cowardly Lion-Steve carried Cartman until they were ten feet away from the poppy field, place them on a flat grassy surface.
Rick: It's not going to work, we need to wake them up somehow
Sheep: Baaaah.
Digifiend: Yes little lamb I am Digifiend the Witch of the North. [appeared in puff of smoke in front of the gang.] Whoa, looks like some one's being partying too hard tonight
Mime: No don't understand, you witchdry The Wicked Witch of the West cast a spell on them and they won't get up.
Rick: She did it by using the scent of those poppies
Worker 1: You think you can cast a spell to wake them up?
Digifiend: Of course, but first I need to get rid of the sleeping spell on those flowers. [waved her wand and a large cloud appeared and started to snow on the flowers, freezing off the sleeping dust.]
[Ike was the first to wake up cause he couldn't smell the dust anymore.]
Mime: Well you got Ike up, now what about Kyle and Kenny?
Digifiend: There's only one thing to do (hope the Wizard for gives me for this) [created a static lighting bolt with her wand, and give Kyle and Kenny quite a shock.]
Kyle: I'M AWAKE! I'M AWAKE!
Kenny: (What happened?)
Worker 2: You fell asleep in the poppy fields cause of Ritsuko's magic, and Digifiend came and undo the spell
Kyle: But was it nessesary for her to shock with her wand?
Rick: Well it certainely wasn't your prince charming that woke up like that, Medusa
[Stan and Cartman started to wake-up.]
Stan: What did I miss?
[Lion-Steve screamed and fainted to ground, while the others weren't trying to laugh at Cartman's hair either]
Digifiend: Well, Good luck on your visit to see the Wizard now. And I'll make sure that snake in the grass Ritsuko doesn't hurt you either.
[Ritsuko watched the whole entire thing on her crytal ball, and heard what Digifiend said about her.]
Ritsuko: I really loathe that guy!
Narrator: As soon as Digifiend left and everyone was back on their way to the Emerald City, the guys were still chuckling about what Cartman's hair looked like after Digifiend shocked him.
Cartman: Very funny, you guys Next time could've at least told me about my hair.
Rick: Okay, we're sorry
[After that conversation, everyone stopped with their jaws opened as they witness the sight of the Emerald City for the first time.]
Worker 1: Behold that fabulousness and wonder of Oz's very own, Emerald City!
Mime: After all we've been travling through, It was worth finding it.
Steve: It's not even terrifing as I imanged it
Stan: Now come on, Let go see the Wizard to grant our wishes.
Narrator: Everyone started to run forward to the Emerald City as they couldn't wait to get their wishes granted. As they finally made it to the enterance gates of Emerald City and the sun was rising from the sky, the gate guard stopped the boys and the guys.
[The Parliament building, entrance. Kyle knocks on the heavy wooden doors. A wooden panel opens up to reveal a window. A doorman looks out through it]
Narrator: The gate guard looked a lot like the doorman, and was wearing a green suit.
Doorman: Hold it! You can't go in to the Emerald City unless you got a ticket to go in.
Stan: Ticket?! What do you think the Emerald City is, twig arms? A theme park?
Doorman: Technically, a quarter of it is a theme park If neither of you don't have a ticket, why do you come here for?
All: We wanted to see the Wizard
Doorman: Yes?
Kyle: We need to see the new Prime Minister.
Doorman: Ha! Impossible! The new Prime Minister isn't seeing anybody! [slams the window shut]
Mime: Oh well, zo much for zat. [turns around and slowly walks away]
Steve: Yeah, we gave it our best, but our best wasn't good enough, eh? [joins the Mime]
Kyle: No. No!! [knocks on the door again. Steve and the Mime turn around]
[The guard almost jumped out of his seat]
Doorman: [opens his window again] Yes?
Kyle: Please, sir. I traveled a long way to get here. He's the only person who can help me.
Doorman: The Wizard!?! Uh, sorry but the Wizard is too busy right now to talk to anyone
Narrator: Then a citizen of from the Emerald City (a little boy who looked a lot like Walter the Softy), saw the boys and ran up to the gate guard
Walter: Hold on a minute, sir The boys you're talking to is the same boys that crushed the Wicked Witch of the East with a plane. [showed the guard the front page of a magazine that the boys' picture on it.]
[The guard turned back around to talk to the boys.]
Doorman: [a big smug] The Prime Minister isn't here. He's in China on official business. So you might as well go home. Good-bye!
Kyle: [turns around and walks off slowly] Then that's it. I'm... I'm never going to get my brother back. [sits down on the steps farther away from the door]
Ike: Yes, I am
Cartman: And... I'm not going to get any Christmas presents. [sits on the steps]
Stan: And... I'm not gonna have a Christmas adventure. [sits between the two of them]
Kenny: (And I'm not gonna have last 5 days without death...) [his voice trails off and he joins the others on the steps. They all cry]
Doorman: [begins to cry with the boys] Oh please! Please stop crying. Well there's been a slight schedual change, All of you may go in and see the Wizard.
Cartman: [through his tears] I'm gonna kill you, Kyle.
Doorman: All right all right, I was lying. The Prime Minister IS here.
Kyle: [turns around] Really? [the boys stand and approach the doors]
Doorman: Yes yes. Come in. [opens the large wooden doors, opened the gate and allowed the group enters.]
Narrator: When they all went inside Emerald City, everywhere they looked it was all green. The city folk were wearing green clothes and shoes, the buildings were green, even some the food was dyed green.
Rick: This place is greener then Saint Patrick's Day in Ireland
Stan: At least it's a lot better then seeing everything pink like in the Barbie Doll Expo
Steve: Now where can find the Wizard in this place?
Walter: The Wizard is at his head quaters at the Emerald Palace, Follow me and I'll show where it is.
Narrator: Everyone had followed the Ozian boy down the streets of the Emerald City, until they reached the very South end of the city where the Emerald Palace is. The palace was like 30 stories high and everything shined off it like it was really made out of real emeralds.
Walter: Good luck on getting your wishes granted
Narrator: Everyone stepped forward into the palace to go see the Wizard. But as they came in, the lobby of the palace looked all crossed between a centure entrance of a mall and a waiting from at the hospitals. As everyone sat down in the chairs, an Ozian girl (who looked a lot like Matilda) came up to them to greet them.
Matilda: Welcome to the Emerald Place, I'm Ozma, the emperoress of the Emerald City and the second in command to the Wizard.
Stan: Hi there, Ozma We are all here to see the Wizard to grant our wishes. The Good Witch of the North told us to go see her.
Matilda: I'll go talk to the Wizard to make you guys get an appoint with him, Hey! Aren't you the boys that crushed the Wicked Witch of the East with a plane?
Stan: Yes But we didn't know we crushed her, but I do have her ruby shoes as proof.
Matilda: Keen gear! I'll go tell him you are here to see him imediantly. [followed the other Softies and started to run down to a different room to go tell the Wizard who is here to see.]
Cartman: I still don't get it, if guys all went to Shiz High with Digifiend, Ritsuko, and all of the other witches and warlocks, how come you never got to see the Wizard back at high school?
Mime: Because none of us got into too much trouble in order to see him in person
Rick: But we did hear a lot of different stories about him
Worker 1: Some say that he was a ghost, that he was a titan, and that he was a genie
Worker 2: Either way, still he sounded the same, and no one really the real him except for the witches and warlocks.
Steve: I just hope that he isn't very scary
Stan: I don't care what he looks like, as long as he can't grant our wish to go home
[The Parliament building, inside. The group walks down a long hallway and approach a large sanctum with three fire pits. Two small ones burn before and on each side of the huge one, which sits at the center and has a holograph of the Prime Minister hovering over it]
Prime Minister: I am the Prime Minister of Canada. What do you guys want?
Kyle: [after a few moments, steps forth] Sir, you recently passed a new law allowing parents who have given their children up for adoption to change their minds. My little brother was-
Scott: Not so fast! [soon appears with the Gintses]
Kyle: Ike!
Ike: Kyle!
Scott: Prime Minister, these are the child's Canadian parents! Their Canadian blood pumps through his veins! Would you send him back to America with those world-hungry scum?!
Kyle: Please, sir. I came because I don't think Ike belongs here. Family isn't about whose blood you have in you, family is about the people who cared about you and took care of you. We're not the same blood, but I love my little brother. We've taken care of him because he needed us to, and that makes us more family than anything. [Harry and Elise look at each other]
Prime Minister: That is a great speech, guy. But the answer is no! All of my new laws will stay in effect forever!
Scott: Haha, you lose, Americans!
Rick: Then, I suppose us mounties will never get our horses.
Mime: And we won't get our wine.
Steve: And we can't perform sodomy, eh?
Worker 1: If you would pay attention, your wizardry
Worker 2: I'd like for you to give a mojo, you know, a urpose in life to be useful.
Kyle: But why are you making such strange laws??
Prime Minister: You must go the West point of Oz, across the Dead Valley, and bring me the cape of the Wicked Witch of the West
Stan: What about my friend's wishes?
Prime Minister: Brain, heart, courage, mojo, all of their wishes will be granted as well if you bring me back the Wicked Witch's cape
Kenny: (I will bring you the cape, but first you got tell me where my friends are)
Prime Minister: I SAID GO! [a blast from his holographic eyes pulled the lever and Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike fell down the trap door and down the shoot.]
[The boys were confused about this as well for moment.]
Cartman: Anyways, let's go the West Point to get the cape
Narrator: So the whole gang desided to go to the West Point to get Ritsuko's cape and bring it to the Wizard. The West Point of Oz, where Ritsuko lived, was anything you can imagine in a haunted forest and deserted valley. It was all black, blood-red, and gray, gloomy, and everything it was dead (except for the owls and the vultures). When the boys and the guys finally made it to the West Point, they spotted a few signs that were in the centure of the Dead Valley.
[The signs say 'This way to the house of Ritsuko Akizuki, The Wicked Witch of the West,' 'Enter at your own risk to go there,' and 'I'd turn back if I were you.']
Steve: Well you're me then [after he read the sign and was about to run away]
Rick: Oh no, you're not going anywhere else, scaredy cat! [he pulled Lion-Steve's tail]
Steve: I still don't wanna go Ritsuko's house
Mime: But don't you want the Wizard to give you courage?
Steve: Yes, I do
Stan: Then you're coming with us to get the cape
Kyle: I don't know how, but we need to get it.
Narrator: So off they went to go to Ritsuko's house where the sign pointed at.
Steve: I'll go help you guys get the cape, but I have to warn you that Ritsuko has spies every where in these woods She could be watching us any minute.
Narrator: But it turns out that Lion-Steve was right about Ritsuko having spies watching the boys and the guys on their way. Right in the middle of the trees, there was an owl watching the boys and the guys walking down the path to Ritsuko's house. The owl was actually a spy camera in disguise, and Ritsuko was watching the gang through her crystal ball.
Ritsuko: So you're intruding my territory to take away my cape, are ya? [watches the gang.] Well let's see if you pass my own secrurity systems before you can face me. Monkies!!
Producer: Yes, miss?
Ritsuko: Bring me my silver whistle and open the dungeon
Kotori: S-s-sure thing, boss
[One of the flying monkies gave Ritsuko the silver whistle, while two of them opened the dungeon and run away from the clearing of it.]
[Ritsuko blew the whistle like a dog-whistle, and coming out of the dungeon were glarring red and yellow eyes that belong to a pack monsterious wolves (that look like the wolf from "Peter and the Wolf"). The wolves apporched to Ritsuko like dogs.]
Ritsuko: I have some good news for you, boys Daddy just got you a nice value meal with two sides, a drink, and two chew toys for you out in the forest. Go get them while they are still fresh [order the wolves to get rid of the boys.]
Narrator: Meanwhile, back in the forest, as the boys and the guys were walking down the path to Ritsuko's house, Ike had picked up a strange scent just ahead from the path. He got up in front of Kyle to warn him about what's up ahead. And at just a mile away from where the gang was, the pack of wolves Ritsuko sent were sprintting their way to the boys and the guys.
Ike: Wolves!
[Everyone was terrified about how numbered they were by the wolves.]
[One of the wolves attended to attack the boys, but Tin Mime came in front of Kenny and hit the wolf on the head with his hand. The strange thing that happened was that just after the wolf fell down to ground, it faded away like magic.]
Kenny: (Why they are not even real wolves)
Mime: They seem to disappear as soon as they get hit by solid objects, Hey guys! Just attack the wolves with something hard like stones and they'll disappear. These wolves are just illusinations.
Narrator: Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle, and even Ike started to attack the fake wolves until they were all gone.
[The Flying Monkies watched the whole thing through the crystal ball.]
Roger: Duh, they just destoryed the magic-wolves you send out, boss
Ritsuko: Nevermind that, I have something else planned for them. Bring me the keys to the cage
Narrator: After the Flying Monkies gave Ritsuko the keys, he went down the boules of her house (which is a giant castle) where there is a giant wall-built cage with something screetching inside of it. Inside that cage, was a giant crow that was the size of an orca, all chained up.
Ritsuko: Relax here, my precious I'm sending you free for the night to get rid of some parasites out in the woods. "Laughing"
Narrator: Ritsuko unlocked the chains at were on the crow, and the giant crow started to fly away into to the sky to seek out Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, Ike and the gang. Once again, as the boys were getting closer to Ritsuko's castle, they all spotted the giant crow up in the sky.
Cartman: Whoa! That's the most biggest crow I've ever seen!
[Knowing Scarecrow Rick's hatered of crows, a bravely stepped forward to face the crow by himself.]
Rick: Allow me to handle this over-grown feather-duster! [watched the crow flying towards the gang.] You got any motor oil and matches in that carring bag of your's, Kyle?
Kyle: Yes, [pulls out a jug of oil and a box of matches out of his bag] The oil was my dad's cars, but you can use it for whatever you're thinking up.
Rick: Believe me, I think this plan would work
Narrator: As the giant crow was about ready to swoop down and grab the boys and the guys, Scarecrow Rick opened the jug of oil and throws at the crow's face. The oil began to sting the crow's eyes, but it still able to see who should attack first. And as the giant crow began to open it's claws on it's feet to attack the gang with, Scarecrow Rick quickly light up a match and tossed it onto the crow. Everyone watched as the crow's body was burning like a mashmellow when it stays in a campfire too long, and going down to the ground like a broken down airplane.
Rick: Tell the other crows I did that to you!
[The giant crow landed onto the ground and it turned into magic dust and ashes.]
[Ritsuko saw what Scarecrow Rick had done to the giant crow.]
Ritsuko: Curses! Foiled again! Well, let's now see them get pass my swarm of giant wasps.
Producer: We don't have any giant wasps to send out, boss.
Ritsuko: We don't? What do you mean we don't have any wasps!?!?!?!
Junichirou: Well we tried to get some wasps one time, but unfortunetly some of us were allergic to the wasps so we treated from their nest and didn't get any
Ritsuko: Then what else do we got?
Kotori: Uh, nothing
[Ritsuko grabbed one of the Flying Monkies and kicked him out of the window.]
Ritsuko: Fine! If you baffoons couldn't send out anymore beasts to attack the boys and their loser friends, YOU go out there in the forest and destory them yourselves!
Roger: Yes, miss
[Then Ritsuko gets out a black horn (that looks like a moose-call horn), blows on it, and and all of the rest of the Flying Monkies to go to the forest to attack the boys and the gang.]
Ritsuko: [stopped blowing her horn, she grabbed one of the Flying Monkies] Make sure you take down that Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny and Ike, and get those ruby shoes! The others you can give me the hide of the Lion-Steve, and tare the scarecrow, tin can, and ice to pieces!
Narrator: Once again, the boys and their friends stopped as the Flying Monkies were coming down to get them.
Stan: Here we go again
Kotori: Well, well, well, if it isn't the little Witch-killer and her traveling circus
The guys: Circus!?!
Steve: I'll show you who really belongs in the circus once I power punch you to dust
Roger: Pfft, you? We all know that you're a coward
Junichirou: Yeah, you couldn't even hit the side of a barn
Steve: I can too! Watch hit this big ugly gorilla square in the eye and he'll be dust.
[Lion-Steve punched the Flying Monkey in the eye, but the Flying Monkey didn't turn to dust. Instead his head bounced back with a black eye, and Lion-Steve hurt his fist cause of how hard to the Flying Monkey's head is.]
[That's when the boys and the rest of the guys saw what happened, they now realised that the Flying Monkies weren't magic illusions at all.]
Steve: Y-y-you're real!!!!
Junichirou: You think!?! And what was that about callin' me a gorilla!?!
[Lion-Steve quickly stepped back to the boys and the guys, while he's still looking at the Flying Monkies with fear and silents.]
Producer: GET 'EM BOYS!!!!!
[And all of the Flying Monkies began to attack the boys and the guys. Each and everyone one of the Flying monkies begain to attack the gang differentely. Some of them tied Scarecrow Rick's leg and hangs him by the tree branch so they can beat him up like a pinata, others were taring Tin Mime apart like a cheap plastic toy, two of those absorbed the Workers in a Shame Wow, and the rest were tossing Lion-Steve like a bag of laundry. But then, Lion-Steve quickly retreated from the Flying Monkies and hed somewhere far away in the woods.]
[As for Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike, they were having problems with the Flying Monkies as well, but they managed to attack some of them. Ike was biting some of them on the bottoms, and Stan, Cartman, Kenny and Kyle had to fight off the short ones like wrestling with hogs.]
Producer: Alright now, goily. Hand over those shoes to me.
Stan: Not on your life, Producer! [kicked the leader Monkey in the face.]
Junichirou: Don't worry, Producer I'll take care of him.
[The tallest Flying Monkey tried to approach closer to the boys, but Ike got in the way as he snarled while trying to protect his mistress.]
Junichirou: Out of my way, kid! [he kicked Ike out of the way and approched even closer to Stan, Cartman, Kyle and Kenny to attack her.]
[The strange thing that happened was that before the tallest Flying Monkey could get his hands on the boys, a mark appeared on Kyle's cheek and it shined very brightly.]
[The Flying Monkey knew that it really meant something that he couldn't do and he should be afraid of.]
Ritsuko: What are you what for, you idiot!? [contacted the Tallest Flying Monkey with a Blue-Tooth head phone] Take down the boys and get the shoes!
Junichirou: I can't do it, boss
Ritsuko: Why not!?!
Kotori: Cause she has the mark of the Good Witch of the North
Ritsuko: Let me see it for myself [looks into her crystal ball] Crystal, zoom in on Stan's face
Narrator: When the image of a close up on Stan's face appaered in the crystal ball, there was a mark of a eight-legged star on Cartman's cheek with the letters "D" and "N" on it, which satnds for Digifiend of the North.
Ritsuko: Argh! That goody-two-shoes Digifiend's got the boys fully protected from my magic!
Junichirou: What should we do now boss?
Ritsuko: Just bring the boys to my palace
Producer: Okay boys, heard the man [he got up and heard every words from Ritsuko] Surround the boys and take them to the palace!
Narrator: Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny and Ike tried to run away, but the Flying Monkies out numbered and surrounded them in a circle. Then they grabbed them and trapped them in big nets, and flew away with Stan, Kyle, Ike, Cartman and Kenny, while leaving all of their friends away tore up to pieces. But Lion-Steve was the only one still in one piece, but he was too afraid of those Flying Monkies, all he just did was watched as the Flying Monkies carried Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Ike away to Ritsuko's castle.
Steve: What a lousey hero I turned out to be My friends got shredded to pieces, the Flying Monkies captured Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike, Ritsuko's gonna rule of of Oz with the magic in the ruby shoes, and all what just did was run away and hide like the miserable coward I am. I'll never get my courage now
Narrator: As Lion-Steve was about to give up his hopes, a small white came up to him and talk to him. Since Lion-Steve is a fisherman, and mice are cousins of the mouse family, he can understand every squeak the mouse had said.
Steve: You're saying that I should go back and help friends? But I can't go back there, those Flying Monkies will come back and skin me alive Besides, I don't have any courage.
[The mouse started squaking constantly at Lion-Steve]
Steve: You're right! I may not be brave, but I have to back there to help the friends and save the boys. Thanks for the tip, fella [before he could run back to help the guys out.]
[Lion-Steve had rushed back to spot where the Flying Monkies attacked to help put his friends back together. First, he grabbed the Shame Wow the Flying Monkies absorbed the Workers with, squeezed it.]
Worker 1: Thanks a lot you big chicken!
Worker 2: While we were getting our tails whooped by those batty apes, you run away screaming like a maniac and deserted us.
Mime: You don't need to repair me [he got up almost put back together] I'll do it myself (that's the only good thing about being made of tin).
[After Tin Mime put his left hand, right leg, and part of his head piece back on to himself, he was all back in one piece and fully repaired.]
Rick: I'm over here
[The guys turned around to find that Scarecrow Rick's head was seperated from his body and all of the straw in arms, legs, and torso were thrown out all over the place.]
Steve: Whoa, you're a total mess
Rick: Thank you Now can you guys stuff the straw back in me and put my head back on my body?
[Tin Mime and the Workers gather up the straw and stuffed back in Scarecrow Rick, while Lion-Steve was twisting the wires of SR's head and neck back together.]
Worker 1: By the way, where's Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and Ike?
Rick: I don't remember anything that happened to them, do to the Flying Monkies beating my head with a baseball bat too many times All I remember was that they caught them in a net and took them away.
Mime: They were taking them to Ritsuko's castle cause they couldn't hurt cause she had the protection mark of Digifiend
Rick: Then we should go there and save them But first, do any of you guys know how to staple stiches and sew clothes?
Steve: I know a friend that can
[Lion-Steve did a roll-call whistle, and coming from the South was the same mouse Lion-Steve had talked to earlier, this time it brought along hundreds of mice with spools of string, sewing needles, and a stitch stampler. So all of the mice started to repair Scarecrow Rick back to normal.]
Narrator: Meanwhile in Ritsuko's castle, Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike are in Ritsuko's room all chained up and surrounded by the Flying Monkies.
Ritsuko: So you think that you could defeat me and foil my plans? But you were wrong! Cause I got another up my sleeve for you.
Stan: That one's for killing my friends, you monster!
Ritsuko: "Laughing" You really are pathedic to think that those lame yahoos could help you and destory me. I've been trying get rid of them since my years at Shiz.
Cartman: But they never done anything bad to you, you are just nothing but a power-hungry dictator that kills people for a living, You don't deserve to be the Witch of the North.
Ritsuko: I would have, if that stool-pigeon didn't ratted me out to expel me and gave the position to that wimp Digifiend! Now hand over those shoes or else!
Kyle: What'll happen if I refuse to give you them?
Ritsuko: Then your adopted brothers will be burn to the crisp! [shows Stan, Cartman and Kyle that Kenny and Ike are all locked up in a cage hanging on the ceiling, and being tazed] I'm in the mood for hot dogs.
Kyle: Alright, You can the ruby shoes, if purpose not to hurt my brother.
Ritsuko: Excellent choice [turns over to the Flying Monkies by Ike's cage] Stop baraquing the kid, boys
[The Flying Monkies unchained Stan, Cartman and Kyle, and Stan sat down in a chair for Ritsuko to take the ruby shoes off of him, but when Ritsuko tried to touched them, they zapped her hands with ten thousand volts of static electricity.]
[Ritsuko looked at Cartman and saw the mark of Witch of the North on his cheek again.]
Ritsuko: Dang it! That mark Digifiend put on him is still active!
Cartman: What mark?
Ritsuko: The protecting mark of the North, only that loser of a witch Digifiend could've give you that symbol just to protect your pretty head [gives Cartman a mirror to take a look for himself.]
[Cartman saw the mark on his cheek, and realised that the mark was at the same spot on his cheek where Digifiend kissed him.]
Cartman: Digifiend was right, That kiss was just to protect me from Ritsuko's magic.
[As the mark faded away on Cartman's cheek, Ritsuko looked at him]
Ritsuko: And now that you're protected by the goody-two-shoes' magic, you have only two options to get the shoes off. Either you have to take them off willingly, or you have to be dead. What would your optition be?
Narrator: While Ritsuko was talking to Stan, Cartman and Kyle, Kenny and Ike thought it would be the opertunity to escape. He used the key to lock the cage, and once the cage was opened, Kenny and Ike are finally free.
[Ritsuko turned around and saw that Kenny and Ike had escape from his cage.]
Kyle: Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby.
Kyle: Kick the baby. [kicks Ike through Kenny, and Ike squeals with delight]
Kenny: (Gah!)
Stan: Oh my God, they've killed our baby brother Kenny!
Kyle: [walks over to the charred remains] You... bastards!
Ritsuko: After that boy!
[The guards quickly rushed to attack Kenny and Ike, but they were too fast for them to catch. Kenny and Ike ran out of the room, and down so many steps until they found the draw bridge, which was opened and it'll be their chance to escape. They quickly ran far away from the castle to seek for help to save Stan, Cartman and Kyle. They watched as Kenny and Ike disappeared out of sight from the castle.]
Ritsuko: Ha! You're losing so many friends even your own brother ditched you
Kyle: Ike would never ditch me! He's just going back for help to end your rain of terror!
Ritsuko: Who do you think is gonna stop me? An angery mob of villagers? Ha! Even a million villagers wouldn't dare to face me.
[Then Ritsuko had thought up an idea to make Stan give up the ruby shoes, as he looks at a giant hourglass.]
Ritsuko: You see that hourglass over there, sweetcheeks?
Stan: Yes, what about it?
[Ritsuko grabs the hourglass and flips it over.]
Ritsuko: Well you got at least two hours to give up those shoes to me, And if you still refuse, I'll find a magic antidote to Digifiend's protection mark on your face, and kill you for those shoes.
Stan: You wouldn't dare!
Ritsuko: What other choice do you got then? You got no friends, no family, or anything to protect you now I'm winning this game for sure!
[Then Ritsuko left the room, and locked the door and windows so Stan, Cartman and Kyle shouldn't get out.]
Narrator: Stan, Cartman and Kyle were lefted all alone in the dark. Now that their friends aren't around here anymore, and there's no way out of the castle now that they're locked up in a room, they won't be able to be able to go back home. But while being left alone, Kyle remembered the argument that he and his mom had before the tornado took away.
Kyle: This what I get from not listen to my mom about new places in the world to those who never been here before, I just wish that I haven't argued with her about that.
Stan: I'm sorry mom! I'm sorry! If we ever get back home, please forgive me for what I said before.
[Then Stan really started to cry, as the sand in the hour glass just kepted on falling.]
Narrator: Back in the woods, the mice had fully repaired Scarecrow Rick, clothes and stiches.
Steve: Thanks for the help fellas [the mice scurried back home]
Mime: I just hope they aren't anymore distractions to beat us up on the way
Rick: Or that Ritsuko would do anything bad to us
Narrator: As just as the guys were about move on their way to the castle, they suddenly had heard some coming from the North of them. It was Kenny and Ike running up to them. All five of them gather here what Kenny and Ike had to say to them about Stan, Cartman and Kyle. Of course they can't talk nor could anyone understand them, so they commicated the guys with playing a little cherades.
Rick: Ritsuko locked Stan, Cartman and Kyle in a tower of her castle [got the cherades game correctly]
Ike: Yeah-yeah-yeah
[Then Kenny and Ike allowed the guys to follow them to Ritsuko's castle.]
[But time was running out, for Stan for he only had one hour to give up the shoes to Ritsuko or he'll kill her for them.]
Narrator: The guys followed Kenny and Ike up a small mountain, which was on the other side of it at the top. They climbed, and climbed up on the mountain, until they finally reached the top of the mountain, but they stayed hidden behind the ridge to make sure Ritsuko doesn't see them.
Rick: There it is, The Castle of the West which belongs to no other then powerful and wicked witch of the West, Ritsuko. Stan, Cartman and Kyle's got to be in one of these towers, if we try to sneak in without Ritsuko finding us, will go in there get Stan, Cartman and Kyle and the cape.
Narrator: Then all of five of them heard some loud marching coming from the castle. It was the Jupiter guards patroling the castle.
Mime: Shoot! There's too many Jupiter guards here [after seeing how many Jupiter guards are outside of the castle] What do we do now?
Steve: Well I'll tell you what we're gonna do, I'll go up there and pop those skinny farrets on the heads, then I'll jab them in the guts, and I'll give them knock them out with a heavy upper cut!
[As Lion-Steve continued to talk, Tin Mime, Scarecrow Rick, and the Workers saw what is behind him and gasped with 'OMG' looks on their faces.]
Steve: When we come face to face with Ritsuko, I'll spit right in her eye Then I'll have a rematch with those fat flying baboons and snap their wings off like a twig Then I'll turn around say to them 'You call youselves tough, well you're but a worthless pile of.......They are behind me aren't they?
Mime: Uhm-huhm
[Lion-Steve turned around and found three angery Jupiter guards behind him.]
Steve: Did I called you 'skinny farrets,' I meant sweet little chaps
[Then the Jupiter guards attacked everyone with their bare hands. Surprisingly the guys had one the fight cause Jupiter knocked themselves out sence-less, while Jupiter were uncautious, the guys took off Jupiter's armor and put on theirselves to disguise themselves as guards.]
Mime: Are you sure these disguises would work?
Rick: It will as long as we keep the face masks on
[Then the Workers looked over and saw that the guards were coming into the castle.]
Worker 1: The guards are going inside the palace
Worker 2: Let's get in there quickly before they close the draw bridge (and this armor rusts on me).
Steve: I'm still don't like this idea at all about going into Ritsuko's palace [be a coward as usually, but he still fallowed the guys down the mountain and into the palace with all of the Jupiter guards.]
Narrator: As they marched in with all of the Jupiter guards, the guys looked everywhere to find the door to the room where Stan, Kyle and Cartman locked up in, then the guards stopped and wait as the Flying Monkies came and talked to them like they was giving out a speech.
Producer: Any sign of intruders out there, soldiers?
Jupiter: Sir, no, sir!
Producer: Good, Cause night the boss gonna take away the magic in those ruby shoes, and she doesn't want any meddlers to her plans. And we don't that to happen now, would we?
Jupiter: Sir, no, sir!
Steve: Okay, Ike Do you know which room Kyle is in?
Rick: Now where are the room keys?
Mime: The Flying Monkey has them? How are are we gonna get them from him without getting caught?
Narrator: The guys quietly crepted behind the guards to get the room Stan, Cartman and Kyle locked up in, then Lion-Steve accidentelly tripped on his tail and they all fell on each other like dominos, and the helmets and face masks fell off of their faces. The guards and the Flying Monkies turned their heads as they heard the clanning noise the guys' armor made.
Kotori: It's the freak show and the boys!
[The gang made chimpanize scared grins, waved, and sprinted away from the hallway with Kenny and Ike following them and they left the armor on the floor.]
Producer: After them!!!!! [all of the guards began to chace after the guys.]
Narrator: The guards had chased the gang up and down each hallway on each floor, until they spilt up to take down one at the time. The first set of guards chased Scarecrow Rick down the blacksmith's room where the blacksmiths (who look like Jimbo and Ned) were working on shields and swords for the guards.
Rick: Excuse me sir, but I need to use this [as he took one of the shields.]
[As the guards were running towards Scarecrow Rick, he quickly threw the shield at them like a frisbee, and all of the guards got knocked out.]
Rick: Strike! [if he knocked the guards out like bowling balls.] See you next fall! [laughed and bounced on their heads and out of the blacksmith room.]
Narrator: The second set of guards had chased the Workers down to a hall with a dead end. They had stopped, and turned around to find the guards will still chasing them, and only option that he can do was melt into a puddle. Surprisingly, melting into a puddle was a very good idea to get rid of the guards cause the guards easily slipped on the ice like cars driving on a road with an oil spill. They morphed back to their true form to find the guards all piled up.
Worker 1: (to the audience) That's why you always have a wet floor sign, folks. [Then he and the other one walk away before any more guards show up.]
Narrator: The third set of guards chased Tin Mime down the hall where there was knight armor displayed by the walls.
Mime: These guys just won't quit, do they?
Narrator: As he spotted the guards coming up wards him, Tin Mime quickly hid by the left wall by the knight armor.
Hokuto: I got you now, metal head! [he was about to clopper one of the armor, think that was Tin Mime. But the guards noticed that it was just an empty statue of armor.]
[So all of them searched all of the armor to find to Tin Mime, but they didn't know that Tin Mime was right under their noses.]
Shouta: We know you are around here somewhere, you over-grown soup can
[While the guards weren't looking, Tin Mime grabbed a midivel mace and bopped them right on the heads.]
Mime: You'll feel that in the morning, [he took off the knight helmet off of his head.] And I'm not a can for the last time!
Narrator: As for the guards who chased Lion-Steve to the trophy room, Lion-Steve camofaulsed himself as one of the lion trophies (thought his noses sticks out like a sore thumb), and the guards ended up with moose heads on them. Because Lion-Steve got so scared when the guards caught him, he jumped onto the walls and stepped on the moose heads until they fell off. The gang eventually meet up again, where they found Kenny and Ike up stairs next to the room. It was Ritsuko's room where Stan, Cartman and Kyle are locked up in. The guys quickly got up the stairs and unlocked the door to the room, just in time to save Stan, Cartman and Kyle and the hourglass was empty.
Worker 2: Excuse us sir, but I do believe that you're in the wrong room
Narrator: Stan, Cartman and Kyle turned around and couldn't believe that their friends who they thought that were dead were outside of the door and were not actually dead.
Stan: GUYS!!! You're alive!!! [ran up and hugged each of them] How did you guys found us?
Steve: Kenny told us
Kyle: You knew you wouldn't leave me, Ike, you clever brother.
Narrator: And just as Stan, Cartman and Kyle are so happy to see their friends again, The Flying Monkies and the guards were coming this way.
Worker 1: Oh no
Kyle: What is it?
Mime: Jupiter guards
Rick: Those guys bounce back faster super-balls
Steve: And they even got the Flying Monkies with them.
Stan: Well let's getting of here before they catch us [they all quickly ran down the stairs out of the hallway as the guards and Flying Monkies were gaining on them.]
Narrator: Meanwhile, in a different room, Ritsuko was watching a horror movie on a flatt screen TV while waiting for Stan to give the ruby shoes.
[One of the Flying Monkies came in and interupted.]
Kotori: The boys has escaped, boss!
Ritsuko: What!?! How could they? I locked them up!
Kotori: The five weirdos you said that me and my brothers should kill are alive, And the boys and them somehow got the keys and unlocked them out of the door.
Ritsuko: THEY'RE STILL ALIVE!!?!?!?!!! If you want something done, you might as well do it yourself! [left the room in a puff of smoke.]
Narrator: The boys and the guys ran and ran fast as they can to get away from the guards and the Flying Monkies, but no matter what direction they went, the guards and the Flying Monkies appear out of nowhere. When the guards and Flying Monkies surrounded the gang in a circle, Ritsuko appeared in a puff of smoke above them, and on a shandelier.
Ritsuko: So you freaks thought you were wiley enough to face me, But you're still the same old losers I tried to kill over and over. Know how's about I turn the heat up, on YOU!!! [began to throw a fireball at the gang.]
[But as the fireball was aiming toward them, the boys and the guys began to dodge it, and started to run pass throw the guards in the West wing side of the hall.]
Ritsuko: [jumped off of the shandelier] You can run but you still can't hide from me! [started to chase after the gang in a fast moving puff of smoke.]
[the boys and the guys continue to run away from Ritsuko, until they entered a stairway by the wall, but the stairway led them to a look-out balcony (which is for the guards to watch the castle for incoming intruders).]
Worker 2: That's just dandy, caught in a dead end!
Mime: Now what do we do?
Steve: I don't know about you, but I'm leaving here and jumping for my life [he was about to jump off of the balcony]
Kyle: No you're not, Lion-Steve! We can't leave until we get the cape off of Ritsuko.
Mime: But how could we? She's too powerful, and we don't have any weapons to protect us. We're stuck up here on a ten story balcony with hundreds of guards down below, and a vase full of water.
Rick: Water? That's it! Guys, the magic that Ritsuko does. The smoke, the fire balls, they are all based off of fire!
Steve: Yeah, so?
Rick: What's the weakness of fire?
Stan: Water, of course
Rick: Right! And who do we know who can control water?
Worker 1: So what you're saying is that when Ritsuko comes here, I splash her with the water with this vase, and when the water hits her, she'll melt?
Rick: Either she will melt like a popsicle in July, or we'll be heading to an early grave
Stan: Allow me to lure her [took off the ruby shoes]
[Tin Mime stepped forward to Stan.]
Mime: But Stan, those shoes are what Ritsuko is after If you give them up, you'll be just another target for her to kill.
Stan: Trust me, I know what I'm doing
[Downstairs of the balcony, Ritsuko continued to search for the boys and the guys.]
Ritsuko: Now where those clowns?
[the boys stepped down to the middle of the stairway, and began to lure Ritsuko to the trap.]
Cartman: Oh, I can't going on much longer I can not escape the wrath of the great and powerful Ritsuko Akizuki.
Stan: So I am willing giving up the ruby shoes to her to make her have mercy on me. I sure hope she doesn't find me here.
[Ritsuko believed in every word Stan said, and suddenley began to go up the stairway, and the boys began to run back up the gang.]
Narrator: The Workers began to use the ice, and gathered out of water out of the vase. The boys dodged as they began to throw the water at Ritsuko, but they used up so much water, it washed Ritsuko out of the stairway and back down to the floor. Stan quickly put the shoes back on and went down the stairs to see if the plan worked. The boys and the guys went down to check for themselves as well.
Mime: You're alright, Stan?
Stan: I'm fine, Tin But look what's happening to Ritsuko.
[Everyone looked as Ritsuko was shaking and and acting wierd now that she was all wet.]
Steve: Is she melting?
Ritsuko: I'm..............NOT melting!
Cartman: Oh come on!
Ritsuko: You think you could stop me by splashing me with to make melt?
Touma: Get that mask of now
Rick: Oh I should've seen that coming
Ritsuko: And I still my magic as well you finish you off! And you'll never get away from me! "Laughing"
[Ritsuko had got the gang all cornered up (literally), and was about ready to use her magic.]
Ritsuko: Now that I'm still alive with all of my powers, I'll use my magic to take down you four knobs first! Any last words before, I...I... [suddenely began to sneeze]
[The gang had watched as Ritsuko not only continued to sneeze, but her nose began to turn red, her eyes turing all pink and puffy, and spots began to appear on her.]
Stan: What was exactally in the water, Workers?
Worker 1: Nothing, it was just regular captured rain water
Worker 2: Though it did have a few of those little green things with eyes and long silver tails.
Kyle: Why that's mosquitto larva!
Kenny: (They must have bit Ritsuko not only give her a cold but molaria as well.)
Ritsuko: Molaria!?! [she was still sneezing] You ungreatful brat, this was all your plan from the start! Who would've thought that YOU could take me down!
[The guards came up and began to take Ritsuko away to her room.]
Ritsuko: If you need me, ACHOO!!!! I'll be in to my room for the next, ACHOOO! Ten days!!
[As the guards were taking Ritsuko away, Ike quickly ran up and grabbed the cape off of her before he could noticed.]
Kyle: Thanks Ike!
Stan: Now when can go back to Emerald City and give this cape to the Wizard.
Narrator: Hours later, the boys and the guys arrived in Emerald City, and everyone was shocked to see that they were all still alive, but they have haver Ritsuko's cape as well.
Guard: W-Why are you doing back here and not dead? [he stops the gang from getting the palace]
Stan: We came to see the Wizard again
Guard: But you don't have an appointment with him
Stan: Does this prove anything? [shows Ritsuko's cape to the guard]
Narrator: Then the boys and the guys continue to walk into the palace, while the guard tried to stop them. After they lost the guard, the gang was about to go down the doorway to the Wizard's room, but as they opened the doors to his room, it was nothing like what I saw the last time they've seen the Wizard.
Prime Minister: Hault! You have invaded the room of the great and powerful Wizard!
Stan: It's us, sir The five people who wanted you to grant our wishes.
Prime Minister: Why have you come back here to see?
Stan: We've got you the cape of the Wicked Witch of the West like you wanted us to [raised up the cape]
Prime Minister: Oh, excellent work you have done
Kyle: Now will you grant our wishes?
Prime Minister: Uh.....Sorry, I can't grant your wishes today. Come back tomorrow or maybe next week to get them granted.
[The gang couldn't believe what they've just heard.]
Kenny: (Next week? You said you'll grant them instantly was we give you the cape!)
The guys: Yeah!
Prime Minister: Silence!!! No one shall question the great and mighty Oz!!
Narrator: As the Wizard continued to rant, Ike saw a power cord sticking out that leads behind the curtain. He walked up to the curtain to investigate it, then he smelled something that is behind the curtain. He grabbed the edge of the curtain and pulled it open. Right behind the curatin was an old Canadian with a gray beard and glasses (who looked like Saddam Hussein) talking threw a high-tech microphone.
Prime Minister: I am the Prime Minister of Canada. [as he says this, Stan pulls the curtain back and Saddam Hussein appears behnd it, cramped behind a console] I can do whatever I- [notices his cover is blown] Uh oh. Uh, don't mind that guy hiding in the spider hole, he's just my friend.
Kyle: [the other members of the group gather in, as well as other people nearby] What the hell??
Rick: Hey, that looks like Saddam Hussein!
Stan: Who are you?
Saddam Hussein: Saddam Hussein?? Naw, relax, baby. I'm not him. I am the real Wizard of Oz.
Stan: The real wizard? But you're not what you were when we saw you.
All: Huh?
Stan: Then why did you wanted the Wicked Witch's cape? [gives the Wizard the black cape.]
Saddam Hussein: Cause this used to be the cape that I forbidden my apperntices to use and for black magic purposes, Someone had stolen for own selfish and bad needs, and I figured that it was Ritsuko, after seeing her using it threw my crystal ball.
Stan: But, if you're still magical, why are you granting our wishes?
Mime: Zat explains everything! Za new Prime Minister was Saddam Hussein, once again trying to take over our beloved Canada like he did before.
Soldier 1: Saddam Hussein?
Soldier 2: He was fooling us?
Businessman: Get him! [the soldiers quickly seize him and haul him away]
Saddam Hussein: Ahh, don't shoot. I want to negotiate. Hey, relax! [the crowd pounces on him and tear him apart] Gah!
Rick: Wait a minute. This means all the Prime Minister's new laws are null and void. We can have our horses back!
Mime: And we can drink our wine.
Steve: And I can sodomize me boys again
Harry: [brings Ike over to Kyle] Young man, you... must really care for Peter to have come all this way.
Elise: Perhaps we were wrong to try and take Peter back. He doesn't belong here. He belongs with his family.
Harry: [gently drops Ike to the floor] Peter, would you like to go back to your home in Colorado? [Ike walks over to Kyle and hugs him. Kyle returns the hug, and the Gintses hug as well, looking at the bond between Kyle and Ike. An alarm goes off. Cartman looks at his watch]
Stan: What is that?
Cartman: It's Christmas. We officially missed it. It's Christmas Day and ... I'm in Canada.
Rick: Hey, come on, boys! You can spend Christmas with us, Canada style!
Stan: We must go to the South Coast of Oz and go see the Warlock of the South
Cartman: Are you kidding!? [getting tired of hearing the witches and warlock stuff and walking for miles.] A warlock?
Stan: Oh don't worry about him, The Warlock of the South is good, and he is Digifiend's brother, Craig. We'll go down there to see him, and he'll grant our wish to bring us back home.
[Ottawa, day. A Christmas parade goes by and the crowds cheer and throw confetti. Saddam is paraded on his own float, with huge candy canes around him]
Stan: Here we go again with the walking for miles part [rolled his eyes.]
Canadians: Ding dong, they caught Saddam! Merry Christmas to the world! Ding dong, the Americans caught Saddam! [Santa's sleigh passes by and the boys are hoisted into it] Now Canada is free for you and you and me It's the best Christmas presents we ever got Canadian Christmas, it's the best! We drink and dance and show our breasts! Let's celebrate! Saddam Hussein's been caught!
Stan: [sighs] Oh well. Maybe we'll get to have a Christmas adventure next year. [Cartman holds a towel over his left nostril, which is bleeding]
Narrator: Later, the gang had desided to take a bus to the South, which is what Digifiend should've made them go on to get to the Emerald City. Once they got to the land of South, it was made out of gems like the Emerald City, only the South land had rubies and pearls instead of emeralds? The gaurds at the gates were nicely enough to the gang go through to see Craig. As for the towns folk in the South, all of their uniforms were white and red like walking peppermints and candycanes, but the only person in the South City that wasn't wearing the Southes colors was Digifiend, who was here in the South.
Stan: Digifiend? What are you doing here in the land of South?
Digifiend: Yes little lamb I came here to visit my brother and told him about the news of you getting of Ritsuko
Cartman: I didn't get rid of her, I just made her get sick, and do you know where we can find your brother Craig?
Digifiend: He's right over there [pointed out to one of the drink-selling booths.]
Narrator: Craig Tucker had turned out to look like himself, wearing a blue jacket, a matching blue chullo hat with a yellow puffball on top, high-wasted black pants and silver shoes.
Kyle: Excuse me, are you Craig the Warlock of the South?
Craig: Indeed I am, dear
Stan: The Wizard told me that you can help us get back home
Craig: It's true that I can
Cartman: So what am I suppose to do or what should I do? Are you gonna cast a spell to send us back to Kansas?
Craig: No, it's Chihaya's shoes that you are wearing They have the power to take you any where.
Kyle: I just wished that somebody could have told me earlier
Digifiend: Look, that's how it suppose to work in Oz, What you were seeking for has been with you all along.
Craig: That's right sister dear, And besides if you haven't gone on that journey, you would've never met your dear friends that have been with you. Say good-bye to them and I'll tell you how the magic shoes work.
[the boys turned around to talk to the guys one last time before they go back home.]
Cartman: Craig is right, you guys have been the best of friends to me (despite that you look like villains that I know) I guess this is good-bye.
Ike: I'm really gonna miss you guys.
Steve: We will too Ike, without I never would've found my courage
Kyle: Good luck with your new job, Workers
Kenny: (Good luck with your new job, Workers)
Worker 1: I promise, Kyle
Worker 2: I promise too, Kenny
Cartman: Good-bye, Tin Mime
[Tin Mime had began to cry cause this is the last time that he'll see Cartman.]
Cartman: Please don't cry, you're gonna rust [kissed him on the cheek]
Mime: I can't help it, Good-byes always break my heart.
Stan: I won't forget you guys
Rick: We won't forget you either, I'll think of you everytime I see someone going into the cornfield.
Kyle: Ready to go home, boy?
Stan: Okay now, what am I suppose to do?
Craig: Just close your eyes, tap your heels togeher three times, and tell the shoes where do you want to go.
[Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike closed both of their eyes, and Stan tapped her heels three times.]
Stan: Take me home to my mom in Kansas
[Then a white twister had began to appear around Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike, which means that the shoes are taking them back home to Kanas. In a matter of minutes the twister closed in on Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike, and they had vanished from the spot where they were.]
Narrator: Back in Kansas, the white twister that carried Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike in appeared out in the open field, which was not to far from Gerald and Sheila Broflovski's farm. The twister had faded away, and soon Stan, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike had open their eyes to find out the magic shoes worked and they brought them home. They turned around and saw the house back in it's place by the barn and Gerald and Sheila were on the porch.
Kyle: Dad! Mom! It's us!!
[The boys came up and hugged both of them for missing them so much.]
Sheila: Stan, where have you been?
Gerald: When the tornado had come closer, we thought that you, Cartman, Kenny, Kyle and Ike were goners
Stan: Well we have managed to servive from it, and I just to say I'm sorry what I said to you earlier before the storm
Gerald: We are sorry too, cause we know that you're growing up realy fast and one you will leave this place and be on your own
Stan: I know I will, but for now I'm living here with you at home, cause I love you both, and there's no place like it.
THE END (of the movie)
[The movie had ended, and everyone started to appaluding for all of what the cast had done.]
[Outside, three hours later. The doors open and the boys walk out and past the booth]
Kyle: Dude, that movie was fucking sweet!
Cartman: You bet your fucking ass it was!
Stan: Fuck dude, I wanna be just like Terrance and Phillip!
Clerk: [sees them] Hey, wait a minute! Where's your guardian?!
Kyle: Huh? [the four of them look at the clerk]
Clerk: I knew it! You paid a homeless guy to get you in, didn't you?!
Cartman: Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit-eater! [farts and begins to walk away. The others follow.]
Kyle: Yeah! Shut your fucking face, uncle fucka.
The boys: You're an ass-licking ball-sucking uncle fucka...
THE END (OF THE EPILOUGE AND FANFIC, FOR REAL)